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Some people believe that it is better to educate children at home rather than sending them to school. Other people believe that it is essential that all children attend formal school education. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Education is one of the most important aspects of children’s development to prepare them to the real world. Parents divided into two groups when the topic became if homeschooling better than formal school education. This essay will discuss both sides and contribute an opinion. Homeschooling has became more and more popular among the parents due to its advantages. First of all, with homeschooling parents can be sure about the quality of education in a sense of curriculum and topics that be covered. Parents have to chance to choose the subjects and teaching methods in the light of their children’s need. Therefore, children have a special attention and this helps them to learn more effectively rather than learning in a crowded classroom. Also, teaching in private space can eliminate the distruction of school environment and children can focus more to the lessons. All these high points of school education explain its popularity among the parents. On the other hand, formal school education still has a huge support from families. Unlike home education, formal school environment provides relationships and friendships to the children. With these bonds, children can learn sharing, connecting, communication and other soft skills which are essential as much as lessons. Moreover, learning with other students can teach to the children how to behave in the community. Since all these vital knowledge have an important part in daily life, every children should have a chance to learn them properly. By and all, in the light of benefits of two sides, I rather prefer the formal school education due to its advantages. Although homeschooling can provide better education quality, school environment has vital efficacies which should not be ignored. Undoubtedly, to take into account the advantages and disadvantages of two options will lead the discussion to continue between home education and school education in the near future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development to prepare them to the real world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
divided into two groups when the topic became if homeschooling better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss both sides and contribute an opinion.

Homeschooling has
Use past participle here: “become”.
became
more and more popular among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to its advantages.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, with homeschooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be sure about the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in a sense of curriculum and topics that
be covered
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
chance to choose the subjects and teaching methods in the light of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
need.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a special attention and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to learn more
effectively
rather
than learning in a crowded classroom.
Also
, teaching in private space can eliminate the
Possible spelling mistake found.
distruction
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can focus more to the lessons. All these high points of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
its popularity among the parents.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
still
has a huge support from families. Unlike home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment provides relationships and friendships to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. With these bonds,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn sharing, connecting, communication and other soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are essential as much as lessons.
Moreover
, learning with other students can teach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to behave in the community. Since all these vital knowledge have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in daily life, every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “child”?
children
should have a chance to learn them
properly
.

By and all, in the light of benefits of two sides, I
rather
prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
formal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to its advantages. Although homeschooling can provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
quality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment has vital
Possible spelling mistake found.
efficacies
which should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

Undoubtedly
, to take into account the advantages and disadvantages of two options will lead the discussion to continue between home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the near future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is better to educate children at home rather than sending them to school. Other people believe that it is essential that all children attend formal school education.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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