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Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peopleprefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peopleprefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It is widely acknowledged that cultural events play an indispensable role in any individual’s life. In order to attend those events, some people spend a huge amount of money on tickets. In my opinion, this kind of activity is definitely a good practice. One good reason for this is that such cultural and sporting events help many individuals to get away from vicious things like work pressure and stress. In other words, in this modern developing world, people are busy with their hectic work schedules and are completely occupied with work targets and project deadlines. The only medium for some individuals to escape the stress and pressure are sports and cultural programmes. This is particularly true in the developing and developed nations. Furthermore, there are many proven medical examples where cultural events worked as a therapy for many health issues. Another point to consider is that by attending these events, individuals learn to respect different cultures and sports around the globe. For example, when people travel to another country to attend a cultural event, they automatically start to love and respect the culture and some of them may even adopt it. Additionally, this helps to form healthy relations between two different categories. Finally, in this 21st century tourism industry is one of the major sources of income for many countries. Among the various factors, cultural and sports festivals are the major ones to encourage tourism. Major sporting events like the Olympics or World Cup generate billions of dollars in revenue and also create tens of thousands of jobs. Obviously, such events give a major boost to the world economy. To conclude, I believe that people spending money to attend cultural and sporting events are a positive development, especially in this developing world. This not only helps the individual, but also enables to form a well-rounded society.
It is
widely
acknowledged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
play an indispensable role in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
life. In order to attend those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of money on tickets. In my opinion, this kind of activity is definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice.

One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason for this is that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from vicious things like work pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
In other words
, in this modern developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their hectic work schedules and are completely occupied with work targets and project deadlines. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
medium for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to escape the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and pressure are sports and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
. This is
particularly
true in the developing and developed nations.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
proven medical examples where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
worked as a therapy for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues.

Another point to consider is that by attending these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
learn to respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and sports around the globe.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel to another country to attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
, they
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect the culture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them may even adopt it.
Additionally
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to form healthy relations between two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories.

Finally
, in this 21st century tourism industry is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
sources of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. Among the various factors,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and sports festivals are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
ones to encourage tourism.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Major
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like the Olympics or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Cup generate billions of dollars in revenue and
also
create tens of thousands of jobs.
Obviously
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
boost to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending money to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development,
especially
in this developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enables to form a well-rounded society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peopleprefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Usespecific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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