Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people prefer to buy a house with enough money in hand, while some think to enter a business. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to buy a house with enough money in hand, while some think to enter a business. ENX9B
Money is one of the most essential entities of our lives. Some individuals are interested in affording a permanent shelter for them when they have enough capital in hand. However, there are various people who choose to do business and expand their money. In my view, using money to grow money is an optimum choice, but still, I will discuss both the views with logical elements and illustrations. The first paragraph will suggest why investing money into a business is fruitful. Firstly, a business is always capable of returning life-long profits. Hence, people first think of investing a sum in any business of their interests. Furthermore, since money draws money, with a smart plan and al knowledgeable mind, person may be able to afford anything once the business blossoms. Secondly, a business also provides a source of employment which is capable of vielding more fruitful rewards than any company or organization can provide. Therefore, people jump into business with high ambitions and a hope to find a permanent base of employment which can fulfill any of their dreams. Thus, business in this way attracts many individuals to invest their capital into. it. Alternatively, buying a house can be a good idea in itself. To begin with, definitely earning a house gives a sense of security and a life-long shelter. In addition, it is a big sigh of relief to be able to own an apartment for a person who has a family with some basic expectations. Apart from that, a bungalow can also appear to be a healthy investment as its value is always expected to increase with the time. Hence, it is also considered as a good scope of investment. Hence, for the people who love to invest in properties, for them it is a never ending choice. Thus, owning a house has its own advantages. Now, although earning a flat contains any risks close to negligible, it still is a dead investment. Of course, being a tenant and earning fixed rent every month launches a new scope of earning, but one cal always do better in business. Besides, a business with proper plan and management is capable of rewarding abundant profits, through which one could buy any number of properties. Above all, though a house can be the need of the hour for many people, opting for a business can make them more capable and less helpless against any basic or materialistic needs. To sum up, buying a house or starting a new business, is a debatable issue, and demands individual perception. However, since I believe that not a house, but a business happens to be the solution of all our worries, I highly recommend to kick-start a new business for someone who possesses capital in hand.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is one of the most essential entities of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
are interested
in affording a permanent shelter for them when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
capital in hand.
However
, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In my view, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an optimum choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, I will discuss both the views with logical elements and illustrations.

The
first
paragraph will suggest why investing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is fruitful.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
of returning life-long profits.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of investing a sum in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
of their interests.
Furthermore
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
draws
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, with a smart plan and
Possible spelling mistake found.
al
knowledgeable mind, person may be able to afford anything once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
blossoms.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
also
provides a source of employment which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
vielding
more fruitful rewards than any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or organization can provide.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
jump into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with high ambitions and a hope to find a permanent base of employment which can fulfill any of their dreams.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in this way attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals to invest their capital into.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
.

Alternatively
, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in itself. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
gives a sense of security and a life-long shelter.
In addition
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sigh of relief to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
an apartment for a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has a family with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic expectations. Apart from that, a bungalow can
also
appear to be a healthy investment as its value is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to increase with the time.
Hence
, it is
also
considered as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scope of investment.
Hence
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to invest in properties, for them it is a never ending choice.
Thus
, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
a flat contains any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
close to negligible, it
still
is a dead investment.
Of course
, being a tenant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
rent every month launches a new scope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one cal always do better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Besides
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
with proper plan and management is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
of rewarding abundant profits, through which one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any number of properties.
Above all
, though a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
can be the need of the hour for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, opting for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capable
and less helpless against any basic or materialistic needs.

To sum up, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
or starting a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, is a debatable issue, and demands individual perception.
However
, since I believe that not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
happens to be the solution of all our worries, I
highly
recommend to kick-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
for someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
possesses capital in hand.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people prefer to buy a house with enough money in hand, while some think to enter a business.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
459 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Some people think universities should focus on employment, while others think they should "only" focus on academic work.
    Universities can play a crucial role in person’s progression. Whether universities should train students for their future careers or it should concentrate on academic works has arised enormous debates. Some people believe that postgraduate education should provide students with the knowledge and ex...
  • 6band
    Some people believed that your personality doesn’t change over time.
    From once upon a time to nowadays, people mostly believe that: “ you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. This issue has been being debated for many years. In my opinion, I disagree absolutely with the notion that your traits maintain forever. On the one hand, human life consists many diverse of per...
  • 5.5band
    the disadvantages of travelling by air
    A journey by airplane around the world is the most convenient. Clearly, airplanes were first designed and fabricated to reduce the considerable huge amount of time spent on going by land vehicles. You watch your favorite movie; take a nap; grab a bite; . . . and before you know it, you’ve already re...
  • 5band
    Why do some people work harder
    Also, disadvantaged children have to study much harder than privileged children to earn the same educational opportunities. For example, Ivanka Trump was able to study at the Wharton School of Finance without the usual academic qualifications because her father is rich and famous. However, if kids f...
  • 5.5band
    People will go to to yhe shopping malls for entertainment in the future
    Nowadays there is a big role of internet in our life. People can walk through the internet every where. Even you can buy anything online shopping. As this position people do not go to buy goods to the shopping malls. They go to there for have a fun. They will enjoy enteftainment activities. But it h...
  • 5band
    The Eco-Generation Environmental Essay Competition
    I am Nhi. I twelve years old and I study at university of Law on Ho Chi Minh city in VietNam. when I accidentally came across a video of sea creatures mistakenly eating human plastic waste. Then they gradually weaken and die. makes me extremely sad and that is the motivation for me to participate in...





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people prefer to buy a house with enough money in hand, while some think to enter a business. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.