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Some people play sport when they are young but then stop doing physical exercise when they become adults. Why is this? What can be done to solve this problem?

In the present time, many people think that when they reach adulthood, they do not stay active as they used to be when they were children. According to me, there could be several reasons behind this issue such as busy schedule or interest in other non-physical activities, although this matter can be solved if one takes precautionary actions. To commence, exercise plays a vital role in order to stay healthy. First reason which I think is hectic work life, where one usually works overtime to please their chiefs in order to earn rewards, as well as awards. In a recent study, for instance, it was lucidly mentioned that people these days prefer to work long hours since it is lucrative for them and their company however they do not realise that they are compromising their health over money. Second, I believe adults can not stay as active as they used to be when they were younger because their muscles and heart become weak overtime. Lastly, as people come across various activities while growing up, some people may get diverted in other activities like listening to music or reading books. Therefore, I believe these could be the causes of adults becoming lethargic. On the contrary, people can overcome the issue routine exercise. People should take a break from their busy work life and perform activities like yoga, meditation or walking for about 20 minutes a day so that one can enhance productivity and efficacy. Moreover, one should invest in a hobby which involves some sort of physical movement because it is crucial for staying fit. However, if anyone does not take one’s health seriously then one’s family members or friends should make one take part in activities which require body movements. Furthermore, employers nowadays also promote such activities among their employees in order to keep them healthy both, as mentally and physically which eventually going to benefit the company and employees. For example, many huge organizations are having internal Fitbit steps competition where employees have to walk certain steps a day, and at the end of a week announce the winner who has gotten more steps. To conclude, in my view, people get busy when they get older and can not invest time in staying fit, but this issue can be resolved by their employers, family or friends who will tell them the importance of staying healthy.
In the present time,
many
people
think
that when they reach adulthood, they do not stay active as they
used
to be when they were children.
According to me
, there could be several reasons behind this issue such as busy schedule or interest in other non-physical
activities
, although this matter can
be solved
if one takes precautionary actions.

To commence, exercise plays a vital role in order to stay healthy.
First
reason which I
think
is hectic
work
life, where one
usually
works overtime to
please
their chiefs in order to earn rewards,
as well
as awards. In a recent study,
for instance
, it was
lucidly
mentioned that
people
these days prefer to
work
long hours since it is lucrative for them and their
company
however
they do not
realise
that they are compromising their health over money. Second, I believe adults can not stay as active as they
used
to be when they were younger
because
their muscles and heart become weak overtime.
Lastly
, as
people
come
across various
activities
while growing up,
some
people
may
get
diverted in other
activities
like listening to music or reading books.
Therefore
, I believe these could be the causes of adults becoming lethargic.

On the contrary
,
people
can overcome the issue routine exercise.
People
should take a break from their busy
work
life and perform
activities
like yoga, meditation or walking for about 20 minutes a day
so
that one can enhance productivity and efficacy.
Moreover
, one should invest in a hobby which involves
some
sort of physical movement
because
it is crucial for staying fit.
However
, if anyone does not take one’s health
seriously
then one’s family members or friends should
make
one
take part
in
activities
which require body movements.
Furthermore
, employers nowadays
also
promote such
activities
among their employees in order to
keep
them healthy both, as mentally and
physically
which
eventually
going to benefit the
company
and employees.
For example
,
many
huge organizations are having internal Fitbit steps competition where employees
have to
walk certain steps a day, and at the
end
of a week announce the winner who has gotten more steps.

To conclude
, in my view,
people
get
busy when they
get
older and can not invest time in staying fit,
but
this issue can
be resolved
by their employers, family or friends who will
tell
them the importance of staying healthy.
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IELTS essay Some people play sport when they are young but then stop doing physical exercise when they become adults. Why is this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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