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Some children find some school subjects difficult ( for example maths or philosophy ) , so these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In today’s fast-paced changing world, the technology is becoming more and more modern, and in the future, the people will never have a desire to purchase the newspapers or books which are published. Because, reading online will become more efficient rather than printed version in the future. This essay is fully acquised due to the Internet is more cheaper and convenient to use as well as it saves a time, and the other opinions will be evaluated in this essay. Firstly, it is vitally important though using Internet can be beneficial in most cases, such as the people can easily find the information, preserve their time in order to printed books. Because, in modern society, the people tend to read online and in the future nobody will utilize published books. For instance, the majority of children that in European countries are using online books to read. Secondly and more crucially that reading online is cheaper to people instead of printed books. Because, the individuals spend their money and papers to issued books, but using electronic books don’t demand them much money or time of course. For example, in contemporary world using Internet to read something is preferable than original books and even this may cause to not entering to the library in the future. Taking everything into an account, reading online are developing day by day than printed books, as the results no one will use published books or newspapers in the future. It is true that using Internet for reading is more convenient, cheap as well as saves the time.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced changing world, the technology is becoming more and more modern, and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will never have a desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the newspapers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
which
are published
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
will become more efficient
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
version in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. This essay is
fully
Possible spelling mistake found.
acquised
due to the Internet is
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
and convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as well
as it saves a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and the other opinions will
be evaluated
in this essay.

Firstly
, it is
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
though using Internet can be beneficial
in most cases
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
find the information, preserve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, in modern society, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
nobody will utilize published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
For instance
, the majority of children that in European countries are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
to read.

Secondly
and more
crucially
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is cheaper to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, the individuals spend their money and papers to issued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
don’t demand them much money or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of course
.
For example
, in contemporary world using Internet to read something is
Use "(preferable)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
preferable
than original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and even this may cause to not entering to the library in the future.

Taking everything into an account,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are developing day by day than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, as the results no one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
published
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or newspapers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. It is true that using Internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is more convenient,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
as well
as saves the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some children find some school subjects difficult ( for example maths or philosophy ), so these subjects should be optional rather than compulsory.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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