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Some people pelive that Women should be allowed to join the army, navy, and air forces. To what extent do you agree?

Some people pelive that Women should be allowed to join the army, navy, and air forces. 11P2q
It has been proven to everyone that women can be successful in any domain. sereving in Military service is not an exception to this rule. some people believe that the status quo should be changed and wemon should have this right to join the armed forces. i personally agree with each gender equality especially in this particular arena. historically, there are lots of evidence which confirm capability and courage of valliant women in critical situations. only one look at The excellent performance of women in the Iran-Iraq eight years war can prove that women can just have an efficient presence as male soldiers during the war. sometimes, their achievements even put their male counterpart to shame. female nursues who had  been working in medical war staff, were showing a high level of determination, knowledge, and emotional and physical strength. their performance which exceeded expectations was for the sake of innate compassion and patience that each woman bring them to the earth with her since her birth. Moreover, every human being should have the right to defend his/her motherland when it is involved in a war. The issue of gender inequality has no place in the 21st century. Women are becoming more and more aware of their rights, therefore there is no sense to prohibit women from their desires and expectations. In conclution, from what has discussed above, patriot womens are qualified to serve in armed forces so that they will be able to be prepared to confront threats and possible wars. In the hope of world peace.
It has
been proven
to everyone that
women
can be successful in any domain.
sereving
in Military service is not an exception to this
rule
.
some
people
believe that the status quo should be
changed
and
wemon
should have this right to
join
the armed forces.
i
personally
agree
with each gender equality
especially
in this particular arena.

historically
, there are lots of evidence which confirm capability and courage of
valliant
women
in critical situations.
only
one look at The excellent performance of
women
in the Iran-Iraq eight years
war
can prove that
women
can
just
have an efficient presence as male soldiers during the war.

sometimes
, their achievements even put their male counterpart to shame.

female
nursues
who had
 
been working in medical
war
staff, were showing a high level of determination, knowledge, and emotional and physical strength.
their
performance which exceeded expectations was for the sake of innate compassion and patience that each woman bring them to the earth with her since her birth.

Moreover
, every human being should have the right to defend his/her motherland when it
is involved
in a
war
. The issue of gender inequality has no place in the 21st century.
Women
are becoming more and more aware of their rights,
therefore
there is no sense to prohibit
women
from their desires and expectations.

In
conclution
, from what has discussed above, patriot
womens
are qualified
to serve in armed forces
so
that they will be able to
be prepared
to confront threats and possible
wars
. In the hope of world peace.
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IELTS essay Some people pelive that Women should be allowed to join the army, navy, and air forces.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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