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Some people opine that films and online games contain such visuals that might be injurious for the mental health of the viewers while others have a contrasting viewpoint.

Some people opine that films and online games contain such visuals that might be injurious for the mental health of the viewers while others have a contrasting viewpoint. gA2el
Some people opine that films and online games contain such visuals that might be injurious for the mental health of the viewers while others have a contrasting viewpoint. Those who think differently reckon that these are just an entertaining way to pass the leisure time. I agree with the later opinion, spectators are mature enough to understand the difference between reel and real life so there is no need to edit anything. On one side, the violence visualized in the cinemas and games effect adversely on the psychology of viewers. Children desensitized to the ill-acts; they may not be helpful towards the real-life victims. In addition, however, they view fight scenes daily, they may try to imitate these in their life. This may result in regular hurting their friends, family members and classmates. For example, after seeing Bat man on television, many children start kicking their classmates in school. Yet the objective behind displaying such pictures is positive, children are not wise enough to understand positively. On the other side, in the contemporary world, people of every age understand the difference between virtual and real world. Juveniles are also smart, and they are aware that fight scenes are exhibited for entertainment purposes. If these will be deleted, the moving pictures and games will become monotonous. Therefore, the purpose of entertaining the viewers will not be achieved. Neither the viewers will be satisfied, nor the producer will be happy as they cannot show their talent with freedom. For example, in Iran many scenes are censored due to regulations, so people are not fond of Iran’s films as these are quite dull and boring. Therefore, editing movie visuals will be redundant as the main purpose of entertaining people will be achieved. In conclusion, some opine violence on screen injurious as this effect the mental health adversely; nonetheless, some radically disagree with this. I am not in favor of censoring as this will be a hurdle in entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that films and online games contain such visuals that might be injurious for the mental health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
while others have a contrasting viewpoint. Those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
reckon that these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an entertaining way to pass the leisure time. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the later opinion, spectators are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand the difference between reel and real life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no need to edit anything.

On one side, the violence visualized in the cinemas and games effect
adversely
on the psychology of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
. Children desensitized to the ill-acts; they may not be helpful towards the real-life victims.
In addition
,
however
, they view fight scenes daily, they may try to imitate these in their life. This may result in regular hurting their friends, family members and classmates.
For example
, after seeing Bat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
on television,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
kicking their classmates in school.
Yet
the objective behind displaying such pictures is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, children are not wise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand
positively
.

On the other side, in the contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of every age understand the difference between virtual and real world. Juveniles are
also
smart, and they are aware that fight scenes
are exhibited
for entertainment purposes. If these will
be deleted
, the moving pictures and games will become monotonous.
Therefore
, the purpose of entertaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
will not
be achieved
. Neither the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
will
be satisfied
, nor the producer will be happy as they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their talent with freedom.
For example
, in Iran
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scenes
are censored
due to regulations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not fond of Iran’s films as these are quite dull and boring.
Therefore
, editing movie visuals will be redundant as the main purpose of entertaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be achieved
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine violence on screen injurious as this effect the mental health
adversely
; nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
radically
disagree with this. I am not in favor of censoring as this will be a hurdle in entertainment.
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IELTS essay Some people opine that films and online games contain such visuals that might be injurious for the mental health of the viewers while others have a contrasting viewpoint.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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