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some people move to other country. why this is happening.give reasons

some people move to other country. why this is happening. give reasons QL0NK
People migrating from one country to another is a topic of great significance in modern society. Individuals may move for a variety of reasons such as better employment prospects, to escape civil unrest and to be closer to family, amongst others. In my opinion, there are a myriad of reasons which contribute to this phenomena. Firstly, people may decide to migrate to apply for job opportunities abroad. It is possible that in their home country, the economy is stagnant and as a result, jobs are scarce and unemployment rates are high. Therefore, in an attempt to earn a living, they may decide to apply for jobs in other countries. However, one disadvantage is that competition for jobs in foreign countries may be fierce. Secondly, people may choose to move because there are wars taking place in their country. For example, there are many wars taking place across the Middle East. This has resulted in many civilians fleeing their homes and seeking asylum in other countries. Many people have done this, in order to escape the brutality and to experience a safer way of life. Another reason is that people may have family members in other countries and they may wish to join them. For instance, many children have migrated abroad to seek further education and jobs, while their parents remained back home. Consequently, the children may feel lonely without the support of their parents and they will try to help them migrate. One drawback is that there is a lot of paperwork to complete, making it a time consuming process. To conclude, it is evident that there are many reasons as to why people decide to live in other countries. Although it is not a straight forward process, steps must be taken to facilitate the process of migration for many people around the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
migrating from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another is a topic of great significance in modern society. Individuals may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
such as better employment prospects, to escape civil unrest and to be closer to family, amongst others. In my opinion, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which contribute to
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may decide to migrate to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities abroad. It is possible that in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the economy is stagnant and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are scarce and unemployment rates are high.
Therefore
, in an attempt to earn a living, they may decide to apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, one disadvantage is that competition for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may be fierce.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are wars taking place in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wars taking place across the Middle East. This has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
civilians fleeing their homes and seeking asylum in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have done this, in order to escape the brutality and to experience a safer way of life.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have family members in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
countries and
they may wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
them.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children have migrated abroad to seek
further
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, while their parents remained back home.
Consequently
, the children may feel lonely without the support of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
they will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them migrate. One drawback is that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
paperwork to complete, making it a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
process.

To conclude
, it is evident that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
as to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Although it is not a straight forward process, steps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to facilitate the process of migration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
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IELTS essay some people move to other country. why this is happening. give reasons

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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