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Some people like to attend big parties with strangers,while others like to attend small parties with families and friends.

Some people like to attend big parties with strangers, while others like to attend small parties with families and friends. 3abRJ
Nowadays, people tend to throw parties for special occasions. Attending to a party can change our mood and brings us happiness. A great number of people would like to participate in a big party which include many people who are strangers for them, whereas others believe that a small party with families and friends is pleasant. People in the first group prefer to attend large parties with many pepper who are not familiar with them. They can find new friends and striking up friendship for theirselves. Take a graduation party as an example, when you attend this party you can see so many friends who you can get in touch with them and giving their contact. As a result, these parties help people to broaden their friendships significantly. Party in the second group tend to attend the parties which include their families and close friends because thay think when thay are with their close friends, thay have a wide range of same hobbies which can share with them comfortably. that is to say, when you attend a friend's party you can wear a casual dress and have more fun together. for instance, last night, I attended a birthday party which included my school friends in order to recall memorable experiences which we had in school we dressed up very simply and drank so much. It was an enjoyable time for us. To sum up, both views are commonly held in society. some people want to have new friends so thay attend a big party with new people. The majority of people being with their families and close friends is their preferences, because thay have many same hobbies. In my view, although people can find friends in big parties, small parties with the families is better for me. Due to more hobbies with families and friends.
Nowadays,
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people
tend to throw
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parties
for special occasions. Attending to a
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party
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our mood and brings us happiness. A great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to participate in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
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party
which include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
who are strangers for them, whereas others believe that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with
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families
and
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friends
is pleasant.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in the
first
group prefer to
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attend
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
with
Possible agreement error. The noun pepper seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much pepper", "a good deal of pepper".
many pepper
who are not familiar with them. They can find new
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friends
and striking up friendship for
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirselves
. Take a graduation
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party
as an example, when you
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attend
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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friends
who you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with them and giving their contact.
As a result
, these
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parties
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
to broaden their friendships
significantly
.

Party in the second group tend to
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attend
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
which include their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and close
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friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when
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thay
are with their close
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friends
,
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thay
have a wide range of same hobbies which can share with them
comfortably
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is to say, when you
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attend
a friend's
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party
you can wear a casual dress and have more fun together.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, last night, I attended a birthday
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party
which included my school
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friends
in order to recall memorable experiences which we had in school we dressed up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simply
and drank
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much. It was an enjoyable time for us.

To sum up, both views are
commonly
held in society.
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some
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people
want to have new
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friends
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so
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
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attend
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is their preferences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
same hobbies. In my view, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parties
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is better for me. Due to more hobbies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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IELTS essay Some people like to attend big parties with strangers, while others like to attend small parties with families and friends.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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