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Some people have argued that video games are waste of time and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies.

Some people have argued that video games are waste of time and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. r8e3o
Spending our time on computers is very hot topic nowadays because video games are becoming more and more popular. Loads of people take the view that human kinds should not spend their time on this kind of hobbies, while other tend to take the opposite view. Both opinions have their cons and pros. There are plenty of reasons to support the idea that both video games and other kind of hobbies have benefits. Technology is starting to spread wide everywhere and this is why video games are becoming more notorious. This hobby can develop your skills in language learning in very easy way. For example, there is a range of words with different meanings which we cannot learn anywhere else except in virtual games. Moreover, due to playing games we can improve our reactions and co-ordination. In addition, it cannot be denied that playing any sports have their advantages. The most obvious positivity of having sport as a hobby is that people stay fit. Also, in order to achieve goals sports can make us deal with disappointment and this provides us mental growth. The strengths of playing games and playing sports have some differences. One of them is that spending time in virtual world develops our mind and mostly the way we think, while sports keep our bodies in shape. In other words, being an athlete maintains our bodies healthy and provides us good appearance. Another difference is that those who play sport train towards specific goal, at the same time human beings with interest in video games do not have one particular goal. For instance, gamers play for joy on the contrary athletes give their energy in favor of accomplishing goal, which could be gaining medal. The general differences are in the way they train us – physical or psychical. To sum up, comparing these two hobbies shows that either playing games or sports have their benefits. In my opinion people need another hobby besides games because we all need to do more sports and move more regularly.
Spending our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computers is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hot topic nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are becoming more and more popular. Loads of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take the view that human kinds should not spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
, while other tend to take the opposite view. Both opinions have their cons and pros.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and other kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
have benefits. Technology is starting to spread wide everywhere and this is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are becoming more notorious. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
can develop your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in language learning in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy way.
For example
, there is a range of words with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
meanings which we cannot learn anywhere else except in virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Moreover
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our reactions and co-ordination.
In addition
, it cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have their advantages. The most obvious positivity of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stay fit.
Also
, in order to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us deal with disappointment and this provides us mental growth.

The strengths of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences. One of them is that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in virtual world develops our mind and
mostly
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our bodies in shape.
In other words
, being an athlete maintains our bodies healthy and provides us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
appearance. Another difference is that those who play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
train towards specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
human beings with interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
do not have one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
.
For instance
, gamers play for joy
on the contrary
athletes give their energy in favor of accomplishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
, which could be gaining medal. The general differences are in the way they train us
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
physical or psychical.

To sum up, comparing these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have their benefits. In my opinion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobby
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all need to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
more
regularly
.
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IELTS essay Some people have argued that video games are waste of time and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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