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How to become a healthy person.

How to become a healthy person. n6bJl
The World health organization, that the most powerful and influential department of UN in the area of health, determines health as a complete state of physical, mental and social well-being. Also, the absence of any disease is not a feature of health. Luckily, nowadays a healthy lifestyle is a very popular trend. You can find a lot of different information and advice on how to improve your physical shape, tips about healthier nutrition and how to avoid or overcome bad habits like smoking, alcoholism and drug addiction. A little bit less but you can find information on how to maintain your mental health. For example, you should meditate and practice yoga, it will be better to avoid any toxic people in your surroundings (family, work, friends) and also you should stay calm in all even difficult and challenging situations. You can come across even less information about social well-being. I suppose it connects with our social skills which you investigate during all your life. Of course, you should stick to generally accepted rules in your region: e. g. be polite, smile, have small talk even if you don't want to. But sometimes it can be so difficult for you. In my opinion, a healthy person is a perfect combination of everyday healthy routine and self-love. It is when you hear and understand your mind, first of all, and your body. When you respect yourself and can be better. In this case, you can be happy and finally become a healthy person.
The World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
organization, that the most powerful and influential department of UN in the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, determines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as a complete state of physical, mental and social well-being.
Also
, the absence of any disease is not a feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Luckily, nowadays a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular trend. You can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
information and advice on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your physical shape, tips about healthier nutrition and how to avoid or overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits like smoking, alcoholism and drug addiction. A
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can find information on how to maintain your mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, you should meditate and practice yoga, it will be better to avoid any toxic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in your surroundings (family, work, friends) and
also
you should stay calm in all even difficult and challenging situations. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across even less information about social well-being. I suppose it connects with our social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which you investigate during all your life.
Of course
, you should stick to
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in your region:
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
be polite, smile, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
talk even if you don't want to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult for you. In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person is a perfect combination of everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
routine and self-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. It is when you hear and understand your mind,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, and your body. When you respect yourself and can be better.
In this case
, you can be happy and
finally
become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
person.

IELTS essay How to become a healthy person.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
251 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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