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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? l2lX
Nowadays luxurious lifestyle has become a dream for most of the human mankind. Inorder to accomplish things they purchase expensive commodities that are not required. Later as a result of this people will end up in huge arrears and sometimes this can lead into crimes. This essay will discuss that how the interest in having new things and will also explain that how government should maintain the limit to set the equality among all. According to my opinion, people are not satisfied with what they have. Everyday they aspire to get into the next level of financial stability. Therefore they invest a huge amount of their savings into commodities that are not essential for their life style. Infront of the society humans wants to exhibit their status by procuring expensive and unnecessary objects. This show off is considered as a matter of their prestige. And also the think that if they have rich life style then the society will treat them in a special manner. Besides this there is one solution to this dilemma. If the government is going to put some limitation on buying things for every one, so that it will create equal opportunities for everyone. Moreover creating awareness among people will be valued. Existence of social media is one of the reason for this fact. People are showing off their luxurious life style by posting photos and stories which triggers common people to buy it at any cost. A friend of mine used to order many cosmetics and clothings from a shopping app which lead her now to ha huge debit as she was purchasing from her credit card. In conclusion, too much attraction towards materialism forces us to accuire unnecessary things. But thiscanbe regulated by selffullfilment and also governtment should intiate to take acts such as providing public more facilities.
Nowadays luxurious lifestyle has become a dream for most of the human mankind.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inorder
to accomplish things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
expensive commodities that are not required. Later
as a result
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in huge arrears and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this can lead into crimes. This essay will discuss that how the interest in having new things and will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should maintain the limit to set the equality among all.

According to my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not satisfied with what they have.
'Everyday' is an adjective, and the comma is missing. Did you mean "every day, they"?
Everyday they
aspire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the
next
level of financial stability.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they invest a huge amount of their savings into commodities that are not essential for their life style.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infront
of the society humans wants to exhibit their status by procuring expensive and unnecessary objects. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off
is considered
as a matter of their prestige. And
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they have rich life style then the society will treat them in a special manner.

Besides
this there is one solution to this dilemma. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is going to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation on buying things for every one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will create equal opportunities for everyone.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
creating awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be valued
.

Existence of social media is one of the reason for this fact.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are showing off their luxurious life style by posting photos and stories which triggers common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it at any cost.

A friend of mine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cosmetics and
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothings
from a shopping app which lead her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
to ha huge debit as she was purchasing from her credit card.

In conclusion
, too much attraction towards materialism forces us to
Possible spelling mistake found.
accuire
unnecessary things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
Possible spelling mistake found.
thiscanbe
regulated by
Possible spelling mistake found.
selffullfilment
and
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
governtment
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
intiate
to take acts such as providing public more facilities.
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IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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