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Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Nowadays, as a consequence of economic growth, people are getting more income and start to consume more goods than in the past. Without realizing that with more inflation every year, the amount to pay remains the same, but it becomes more expensive. The money that was kept buying entertainment for themselves is reduced and ends up insufficient. Endless demand, this makes people start loaning and become indebted. The combination of prudent planning and Economic knowledge can reduce the severity of these problems. For the first reason for this behaviour, without enough knowledge, many people are facing debt problems. As a result, they cannot cope when it comes unexpectedly. Lacking experiences when handling inflation can make people spend money without caution. For instance, the Asian economic crisis of 1997 was caused by the collapse of the currency exchange rate and hot money bubble. Most of the population was affected and could not handle it in time. That is a lesson for future generations to be more careful when spending money. When things go wrongs, the economy turns to decline, having an appropriate way to assure us to never worry about a setback is a must. Saving money efficiently is one of the ways that can help us when suffering in a dire situation. Having money is like having insurance, unwanted situations can happen at any time. Pandemic, Economic shutdown, and natural disasters, all these things appear to happen more and more frequently. For these reasons having sufficient money will help prevent us from a setback, which means that we never need to be indebted. Another crux of the problem is the insufficiency of economical knowledge and money management. Managing your money properly means that we will be able to have proper Economic stability when the time comes it would help minimize the damages dealt by those unwanted situations. In conclusion, to avoid getting into debt, everyone should have awareness about the pros and cons of using money. Someone should not simply purchase a product because of luxury or entertainment. It does not mean that you can give happiness to yourself but you should have a limit. Emergencies can happen anytime, thus being a little careful won’t hurt anyone.
Nowadays, as a consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to consume more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
than in the past. Without realizing that with more inflation every year, the amount to pay remains the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it becomes more expensive. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
buying entertainment for themselves is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and ends up insufficient. Endless demand, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
loaning and become indebted. The combination of prudent planning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
knowledge can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the severity of these problems.

For the
first
reason for this
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
, without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing debt problems.
As a result
, they cannot cope when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
unexpectedly
. Lacking experiences when handling inflation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without caution.
For instance
, the Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
crisis of 1997
was caused
by the collapse of the currency exchange rate and hot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
bubble. Most of the population was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and could not handle it in time.
That is
a lesson for future generations to be more careful when spending money.

When things go wrongs, the economy turns to decline,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
an appropriate way to assure us to never worry about a setback is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
. Saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
efficiently
is one of the ways that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us when suffering in a dire situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
insurance, unwanted situations can happen at any time. Pandemic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
shutdown, and natural disasters, all these things appear to happen more and more
frequently
. For these reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from a setback, which means that we never need to
be indebted
. Another crux of the problem is the insufficiency of economical knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management. Managing your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
means that we will be able to have proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
stability when the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
minimize the damages dealt by those unwanted situations.

In conclusion
, to avoid getting into debt, everyone should have awareness about the pros and cons of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Someone should not
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of luxury or entertainment. It does not mean that you can give happiness to yourself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you should have a limit. Emergencies can happen anytime,
thus
being a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
careful won’t hurt anyone.
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IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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