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some people get into by things they don't need and can't a afford. what are the reason behind this behaviour. what action can be taken to people from having this problem

some people get into by things they don't need and can't a afford. what are the reason behind this behaviour. what action can be taken to people from having this problem OE9Qk
in today's modern era, markets are flooded with variety of products. therefore many people purchase a thing which they really don't need even sometime people use to buy thing which is not in the budget in this essay I will discuss the reason behind problem and give suggestion for solution tubing with nowadays individual tend to buy luxurious things which quite costly for them just for upload photographs in different social media platform like Instagram and Facebook. secondly, a branded company used to give discount for alluring people to purchase their product. for instance a company called firstcry they give a discount in every season on seasonal clothes so individual temp and purchase their product. more with the significant growth in number of mall the attract people for spending more money on secondary need such fashionable clothes jewelry or gadgets. consequently it lead them in debt. are be bankrupt additional e of famous company use actor and actresses for advertise as a brand ambassador. because of popularity more and more people alluring for purchase. on the other hand there are also some solution of this problem firstly authority should ban advertise of high price product secondly banks should decrease the credit card limit as a result automatically they will reduce their shopping where is government can also increase the number of garden that's why people will go over there rather than shopping centre it is true that alot of people have a debt problem. to be come out from this they should buy a things after think twice
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern era, markets
are flooded
with variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a thing which they
really
don't need
Did you mean "to even"?
even
sometime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
thing which is not in the budget in this essay I will discuss the reason behind problem and give suggestion for solution

tubing with nowadays individual tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
luxurious things which quite costly for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for upload photographs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social media platform like Instagram and Facebook.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, a branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to give discount for alluring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
firstcry
they give a discount in every season on seasonal clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
individual temp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
more
with the significant growth in number of mall
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'attract' is correct. If 'attract' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for spending more money on secondary need such fashionable clothes jewelry or gadgets.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
it
Did you mean "leads"?
lead
them in debt.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
bankrupt

additional e of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
actor and actresses for advertise as a brand ambassador.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of popularity more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alluring for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution of this problem
firstly
authority should ban advertise of high price
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
secondly
banks should decrease the credit card limit
as a result
automatically
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their shopping where is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
increase the number of garden that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will go over there
rather
than shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre


it is true that
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a debt problem.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from this they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a thing" or simply "things"?
a things
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
twice

IELTS essay some people get into by things they don't need and can't a afford. what are the reason behind this behaviour. what action can be taken to people from having this problem

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
257 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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