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the differentiation between the qualities of men and women. People believe that certain jobs are meant for women and some are meant for men according to their traits and strengths.

the differentiation between the qualities of men and women. People believe that certain jobs are meant for women and some are meant for men according to their traits and strengths. 1m8lW
There is always a debate on the differentiation between the qualities of men and women. People believe that certain jobs are meant for women and some are meant for men according to their traits and strengths. Every person is different from one another hence their capability of handling the task assigned to them also differs. Women have always been good with the multi-tasking and the communication part. They believe in working with the team and getting the work done with perfection not just for the sake of the completion of the task. The jobs like marketing and sales prefer to hire women more than men as they are better at communicating and emotionally connecting with the client. They are much more efficient in presenting themselves in front of the client them a much clearer picture of the task assigned to them. On the other hand, men are much more efficient in all the bold parts of the jobs and handling the major hustle bustle behind the job. They are physically strong as compared to women. The jobs which ask for more physical work, men have always been their first choice. The jobs like finance and security always look up to men rather than women. Men are emotionally strong than women, especially in the workplace. Talking about the disadvantages of each of them at their respective jobs, Women sometimes mixes up their emotions a lot with the work whereas men are much stronger at that point of view. Men tend to get clumsy while presenting their perspective in front of people or their team whereas women tend to ace that factor. I believe both men and women are an initial part of the industry and ace their tasks with full competency and strengths.
There is always a debate on the differentiation between the qualities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are meant
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are meant
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
according to their traits and strengths. Every person is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from one another
hence
their capability of handling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
assigned to them
also
differs.

Women have always been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with the multi-tasking and the communication part. They believe in working with the team and getting the work done with perfection not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of the completion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like marketing and sales prefer to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
as they are better at communicating and
emotionally
connecting with the client.

They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more efficient in presenting themselves in front of the client them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
clearer picture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
assigned to them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more efficient in all the bold parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and handling the major hustle bustle behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They are
physically
strong as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
more physical work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have always been their
first
choice. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like finance and security always look up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are
emotionally
Use "stronger" to make a comparison with this adjective.
strong
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
especially
in the workplace.

Talking about the disadvantages of each of them at their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
mixes up their emotions a lot with the work whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
stronger at that point of view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
clumsy while presenting their perspective in front of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or their team whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
tend to ace that factor.

I believe both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are an initial part of the industry and ace their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
with full competency and strengths.
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IELTS essay the differentiation between the qualities of men and women. People believe that certain jobs are meant for women and some are meant for men according to their traits and strengths.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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