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Some people from many nations think that they have to maove away from their family and friends in order to work. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Some people from many nations think that they have to maove away from their family and friends in order to work. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages Knbj3
Some people from many nations think that they have to maove away from their family and friends in order to work. This has lot of benifits such as financial stability and independent. When a person moves away from his family he has to do all his work by himself be it cooking his meal or going to work. Thus, an individual becomes more independent. Due to economic recessions people from the developing countries migrate to the countries which offer them jobs with high wage rate. Having looked at some prons, some triffle cons associated with this trend is loneliness and taking up the wrong path. An individual away from home canbeled astray by bad company and he is not under the supervision of the parents so he can take up the wrong path. Besides this, a person away from family and friends feels alone and it can lead to adverse ramifications such as depression and tendency to suicide. In conclusion, despite some disadvantages, I firmly believe that the advantages of this trend including financial stability and being independent outweigh it's disadvantages. This the boons of this trend eclipse it's bans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake found.
maove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their family and friends in order to work. This has lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
such as financial stability and independent. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from his family he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do all his work by himself be it cooking his meal or going to work.
Thus
, an individual becomes more independent. Due to economic recessions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
migrate to the countries which offer them jobs with high wage rate. Having looked at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
prons
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
triffle
cons associated with this trend is loneliness and taking up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path. An individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from home
Possible spelling mistake found.
canbeled
astray by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
company and
he is not under the supervision of the parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can take up the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
Besides
this, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from family and friends feels alone and it can lead to adverse ramifications such as depression and tendency to suicide.
In conclusion
, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I
firmly
believe that the advantages of this trend including financial stability and being independent outweigh
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
disadvantages. This the boons of this trend eclipse
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
bans.

IELTS essay Some people from many nations think that they have to maove away from their family and friends in order to work. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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