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Some people feel the positive aspects of television are more important than the negative aspects. To what extent do you agree

The effect of television in our society is debatable, and as such, some Individuals believe that the good characteristics of television are more beneficial than its detrimental side. I strongly disagree with this view for a number of reasons. To begin with, television delays the time needed to achieve one’s goals. Television features numerous programs as well as series that are continuous and last for hours. These programs are tremendously entertaining, making individuals addicted and clued to their television set, thereby, inhibiting or delaying them from achieving their set task. For instant, my younger sister watches soap opera on television from 8am to 6pm daily, and takes her morning bath by 6: 10pm. It is therefore evident that television delays task achievement. In addition, programs aired on television promotes inappropriate dressing. Most shows aired on television screens portray half naked dressing as normal by showing various celebrities indecently dressed in public. These celebrities are mentors to millions of people, especially the youth, who automatically think it is the right way to dress, thereby imitating them, resulting in increase rate of indecency. To illustrate, my 18years old neighbour bought a mini skirt similar to the one wore by Rita Dominic in a movie we bought watched on TV. This goes to show that television is harmful because it increases indecent act. In conclusion, I completely disagree that the useful side of television is more important than its adverse effect because it extends the time needed to complete task and promote indecency.
The effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
in our society is debatable, and as such,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Individuals believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characteristics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
are more beneficial than its detrimental side. I
strongly
disagree with this view for a number of reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
delays the time needed to achieve one’s goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
features numerous programs
as well
as series that are continuous and last for hours. These programs are
tremendously
entertaining, making individuals addicted and clued to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
set, thereby, inhibiting or delaying them from achieving their set task. For instant, my younger sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
soap opera on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
from 8am to 6pm daily, and takes her morning bath by 6: 10pm. It is
therefore
evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
delays task achievement.

In addition
, programs aired on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
promotes inappropriate dressing. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
aired on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
screens portray half naked dressing as normal by showing various celebrities
indecently
dressed in public. These celebrities are mentors to millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the youth, who
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is the right way to dress, thereby imitating them, resulting in increase rate of indecency. To illustrate, my 18years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake. ‘neighbour’ is British English.
neighbour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a mini skirt similar to the one wore by Rita Dominic in a movie we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
on TV. This goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is harmful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases indecent act.

In conclusion
, I completely disagree that the useful side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than its adverse effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it extends the time needed to complete task and promote indecency.
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IELTS essay Some people feel the positive aspects of television are more important than the negative aspects. To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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