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Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.

Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. RrbQ
One of the topics that people have a different argument about it, is keeping animals in a zoo. Some people argue that it is beneficial for both humans and animals. On the other hand, there is another group that does not agree with keeping them in captivity. In this essay, both ideas will be explained. Some people agree with keeping animals in captive places such as the zoo. The zoo is one of the recreational places that most people especially children like to be there sometimes. Keeping all kinds of animals in a public place has some benefits for children and their tutors. Tutors can bring children to a scientific picnic and demonstrate different kinds of animals which can be difficult to teach at school. Also, it is very interesting for children to see all spices closely. In addition to children and entertainment context, keeping animals from extinction is another purpose of zoo places. Nowadays with a significant increase in animal hunting and also environmental threats, some types of animals are going to be extinct. For example, Asian Tigger is one of the wild animals which their population is decreasing dramatically in recent decades. So, captivating such animals in a safe place, and taking care of them might be helpful for resolving this issue. On the contrary, the other group persists that animals should not be arrested and kept in the zoo. Nowadays by the emergence of online games, game consoles, the internet, and tablets, fewer children and families tend to go to the zoo. Parents and tutors can show animals and video from a typical zoo on YouTube. Furthermore, although a zoo would be a safe place for animals and they are not in danger of hunting and other threats, in reality, they are in prison and we do not allow them to be in freedom. In addition, keeping some kind of animals who are going to be extinct in the future would not prevent them from extinction since it needs more considerations. All in all, however, there are some benefits to keeping animals in a safe place such as a zoo, the disadvantage outweigh the advantages and I agree with the second opinion.
One of the topics that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
argument about it, is keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a zoo.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it is beneficial for both humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
On the other hand
, there is another group that does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with keeping them in captivity. In this essay, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such as the zoo. The zoo is one of the recreational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to be there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. Keeping all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and their tutors. Tutors can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to a scientific picnic and demonstrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which can be difficult to teach at school.
Also
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting for
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children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all spices
closely
.
In addition
to
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children
and entertainment context, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction is another purpose of zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Nowadays with a significant increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hunting and
also
environmental threats,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are going to be extinct.
For example
, Asian
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tigger
is one of the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which their population is decreasing
dramatically
in recent decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, captivating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, and taking care of them might be helpful for resolving this issue.

On the contrary
, the other group persists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be arrested
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the zoo. Nowadays by the emergence of online games, game consoles, the internet, and tablets, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and families tend to go to the zoo. Parents and tutors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and video from a typical zoo on YouTube.
Furthermore
, although a zoo would be a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
animals and
they are not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of hunting and other threats, in reality, they are in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prison and
we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to be in freedom.
In addition
, keeping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
who are going to be extinct in the future would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from extinction since it needs more considerations.

All in all,
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
such as a zoo, the disadvantage outweigh the advantages and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second opinion.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people feel that it is always wrong to keep animals in captivity, for instance in zoos. Other people say that there are benefits for the animals and for humans. Discuss both sides of this debate, and give your personal view.