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Many people including highly influencial people turn to spirituality at some point in life.what do you think are the reasons. How does their inclination to spirituality affects their life

Many people including highly influencial people turn to spirituality at some point in life. what do you think are the reasons. How does their inclination to spirituality affects their life a02V
The term spirituality is the human capacity for self- transcendence, regardless of whether that experience is religious or not. Let's see the aspects why highly influencial people turns to spirituality in life. Spirituality is widespread and vast term. Peace of mind is the new mere luxury also has become a priority for any human kind. If we talk about Influencers, they are people who effortlessly and very convincingly guide, direct, motivate and help people achieve their goals or dreams be it personal or professional, but at times this may lead to resolve mental health issues or traumas with just heart to heart talks or by just being ears to what people want to say. Needless to mention that it isn't a cake walk. For instance, one of my friend was at her lowest point of life and one fine day she turned to spiritism started meditating, journaling also working out, did every possible thing to get her calm back and she made it through. However, When people come to the stage of life where they loose their contentment they turn towards the spirituality quest, to reflect themselves through knowledge along with love. Some also connect spirituality with religion although it can be religious or secular. Spirituality is one of the means that leads to attain highest forms of consciousness, making one content, to become a better person not only for oneself but also for the human kind around. To conclude, spirituality is not only temporary but an ongoing conquest and also is a rational approach of life. To be precise the one who can change and control their self destructive behavioural traits and thoughts can master thy self with the help of spirituality.
The term spirituality is the human capacity for self-

transcendence, regardless of whether that experience is religious or not.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the aspects why
highly
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
turns
to spirituality in life.

Spirituality is widespread and vast term. Peace of mind is the new mere luxury
also
has become a priority for any human kind. If we talk about Influencers, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
effortlessly
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convincingly
guide, direct, motivate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieve their goals or dreams be it personal or professional,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at times this may lead to resolve mental health issues or traumas with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
heart to heart
talks or by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being ears to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to say. Needless to mention that it isn't a cake walk.

For instance
, one of my friend was at her lowest point of life and one fine day she turned to
Possible spelling mistake found.
spiritism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
meditating, journaling
also
working out, did every possible thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
her calm
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
back and
she made it through.
However
, When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the stage of life where they
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their contentment they turn towards the spirituality quest, to reflect themselves through knowledge along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
also
connect spirituality with religion although it can be religious or secular. Spirituality is one of the means that leads to attain
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
forms of consciousness, making one content, to become a better person not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for oneself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the human kind around.

To conclude
, spirituality is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
temporary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
an ongoing conquest and
also
is a rational approach of life. To be precise the one who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and control their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self destructive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
traits and thoughts can master thy self with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of spirituality.

IELTS essay Many people including highly influencial people turn to spirituality at some point in life. what do you think are the reasons. How does their inclination to spirituality affects their life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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