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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid? QNjX
Nowadays, it is widely believed that a sports personality, actors, pop stars earned far more than what they deserve. However, in my opinion, the high payment they receive is for the huge degree of endeavour they go through to bring out the end result. This essay will discuss the reasons for The primary reason for entertainers being highly paid is the exalted extent of risk the undertake. Film stars may have to harm their life while preparing for a certain role. For instance, Indian actor Amir Khan had to be gain an additional 20 kgs for a film and immediately lose it for his next role. This could have a detrimental effect on his health. Similarly, a sportsperson has to be coached from a very young age in his or her life. For that reason, they are bound to sacrifice numerous important events in their life for their training. Therefore, these individuals are entitled to the huge salary they receive. Nevertheless, there are a plethora of other professions that require risking the life of the person every day and should be taken in to account for high payments. The jobs of Police or Firefighters encompasses an enormous magnitude of danger to it. For example, during the terrorist attacks of 26th November, many police officers had to give up their lives to protect the citizens. Such instances are proof that the daily threat they endure are incomparable the the salary they are given. The government needs to improve their paychecks to make them feel appreciated. To conclude, with the aforementioned points, I believe, entertainers are entitled to the huge remuneration they fetch for the amount of risk they undertake. Additionally, specialist that threaten the lives daily for protecting other people deserve to be commanded with respect and high salaries.
Nowadays, it is
widely
believed that a sports personality, actors, pop stars earned far more than what they deserve.
However
, in my opinion, the high payment they receive is for the huge degree of
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
they go through to bring out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result. This essay will discuss the reasons
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
for


The primary reason for entertainers being
highly
paid is the exalted extent of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'undertake' is correct. If 'undertake' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the undertake
. Film stars may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
harm their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while preparing for a certain role.
For instance
, Indian actor Amir Khan had to be gain an additional 20
Possible spelling mistake found.
kgs
for a film and immediately lose it for his
next
role. This could have a detrimental effect on his health.
Similarly
, a sportsperson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be coached
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For that reason, they
are bound
to sacrifice numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their training.
Therefore
, these individuals
are entitled
to the huge salary they receive.

Nevertheless
, there are a plethora of other professions that require risking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the person every day and should
be taken
in to account for high payments. The jobs of Police or Firefighters encompasses an enormous magnitude of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to it.
For example
, during the terrorist attacks of 26th November,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
police officers had to give up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to protect the citizens. Such instances are proof that the daily threat they endure are incomparable
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
salary they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their paychecks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel appreciated.

To conclude
, with the aforementioned points, I believe, entertainers
are entitled
to the huge remuneration they fetch for the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
they undertake.
Additionally
, specialist that threaten the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
daily for protecting other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deserve to
be commanded
with respect and high salaries.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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