Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some People think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. 13Bq
There is no doubt that in some parts of the world crime rate has been increased dramatically. Although some people believe that the public administration should take responsibility to stop crime, others argue that every person is responsible for their protection. In my opinion, both the government and an individual can play their roles equally to prevent crimes. On the one hand, one section of society thinks that every one of us should take care of our safety and protection. This is because the government’s agencies, such as the police, cannot be present everywhere all the time. To illustrate, an incident happened in the United Kingdom, some people shoplifted the gold and diamond jewellery from one of the prestigious retail stores, and at that time the police were not present around that area, additionally, CCTV cameras were not installed. Therefore, in that case, it was the shop owner’s responsibility to install cameras to monitor the unlawful activities, which could help the administration to catch shoplifters. Hence, it is evident that an individual should also play their roles to stop such incidents. On the other hand, some people hold the view that it is the government's sole responsibility to stop offenders from committing any crime. The reason for this is that the public administration has all the power to make and enforce the laws, which will make sure people will abide by laws. For example, in many countries, where the crime rate is low, they have implemented strict laws not only for vicious crimes but also for petty crimes. In one of the middle east countries, there is life imprisonment for pickpocketing and capital punishment for any vicious crime. Thus, there will be a less crime rate if any country applies strict laws. In conclusion, from my point of view, both the government and individuals can play their vital role to stop any crime. The public authorities should make stringent laws and enforce them. At the same time, a person should also take preventive measures, such as installing a camera in a shop, to prevent crime.
There is no doubt that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate has
been increased
dramatically
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the public administration should take responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, others argue that every person is responsible for their protection. In my opinion, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and an individual can play their roles
equally
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
crimes.

On the one hand, one section of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that every one of us should take care of our safety and protection. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s agencies, such as the police, cannot be present everywhere all the time. To illustrate, an incident happened in the United Kingdom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shoplifted the gold and diamond
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
from one of the prestigious retail stores, and at that time the police were not present around that area,
additionally
, CCTV cameras were not installed.
Therefore
,
in that case
, it was the shop owner’s responsibility to install cameras to monitor the unlawful activities, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the administration to catch shoplifters.
Hence
, it is evident that an individual should
also
play their roles to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
such incidents.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's sole responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
offenders from committing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
The reason for this is
that the public administration has all the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and enforce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will abide by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is low, they have implemented strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for vicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for petty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. In one of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
countries, there is life imprisonment for
Possible spelling mistake found.
pickpocketing
and capital punishment for any vicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Thus
, there will be a less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate if any country applies strict laws.

In conclusion
, from my point of view, both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals can play their vital role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stop
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The public authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
and enforce them. At the same time, a person should
also
take preventive measures, such as installing a camera in a shop, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.

IELTS essay Some People think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some People think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.