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Society would benefit from a complete ban on all forms of advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Society would benefit from a complete ban on all forms of advertisement. YrjQ
Advertisement has been extremely popular tools due to its development in commercial market. A number of people believe that society would aid from a complete restriction on all forms of advertising while others condemn it. Despite certain drawbacks, I think a good deal of advertising has good motives. To begin with, a plethora of products has launched and people are bored with its advertising. For instance, when watching television or YouTube, ads is given regularly which distract people to buy that things. Furthermore, the products can be not required for consumers or it could not be up to the marks. The ideal purpose is make consumers to buy that product completely. On the contrary, the advertising has been in use for decades and it informs people about the product clearly.
Advertisement has been
extremely
popular tools due to its development in commercial market. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that society would aid from a complete restriction on all forms of advertising while others condemn it. Despite certain drawbacks, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deal of advertising has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
motives. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has launched and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bored
with its advertising.
For instance
, when watching television or YouTube, ads is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
regularly
which distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that things.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can be not required for consumers or it could not be up to the marks. The ideal purpose is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
consumers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
completely.
On the contrary
, the advertising has been in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for decades and it informs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
clearly
.

IELTS essay Society would benefit from a complete ban on all forms of advertisement.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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