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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid? DeOj
Many people argue that celebraties related to cinema stars, music artists, athletes are paid more than they actually need. This essay strongly agrees with the statement. They don't need that enormous amounts of money to survive and they are not doing anything rather than playing for the country and visiting places. There are many others professions who should be paid more than they actually get. Firslty, persons who play sports are likely to become famous in less time and are genrally earning more than a sofware engineer who works 8-10 hours a day. On the other hand, sports people only play duirng the oympics or during any events and at the time of tournaments and the amount of salary that they receive for playing short time is suffiecient for the whole year. For instance, a typical inexperienced software employee in India is paid around 10000 rupees per month whereas, a cricket player who plays first class cricket in India is paid in lakhs just for a single match. Secondly, there are a numerous other jobs which desperately in neeed of salary hikes. Information technology jobs and people who seek jobs based on computer coding and languages are paid less though they work hard. For example, there is an IT company in Banglore in which the employees are only paid 10-15 thousand rupees per month even though they work as ants. Lawyers are also not paid enough as compared to their struggles in quailifying in the exams to become an advocate. Moreover, these athletes do not need that much money for survival instead government should look more into other categories of jobs who need money and who are paid less than they require. This in turn helps to increase the country's economy. In conclusion, people who play games for their country are not in need for that huge amount of salaries and many other well deserved people who are working day and night for survival should be paid well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
celebraties
related to cinema stars, music artists, athletes are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more than they actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement. They don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
that enormous amounts of money to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
survive and
they are not doing anything
rather
than playing for the country and visiting places. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others professions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more than they actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Firslty
, persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
sports are likely to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in less time and are
Possible spelling mistake found.
genrally
earning more than a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sofware
engineer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works 8-10 hours a day. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
Possible spelling mistake found.
duirng
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oympics
or during any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and at the time of tournaments and the amount of salary that they receive for playing short time is
Possible spelling mistake found.
suffiecient
for the whole year.
For instance
, a typical inexperienced software employee in India is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
around 10000 rupees per month whereas, a cricket player
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
cricket in India is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
in lakhs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for a single match.

Secondly
, there are a numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which
desperately
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
neeed
of salary hikes. Information technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
based on computer coding and languages are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
less though they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
For example
, there is an IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banglore
in which the employees are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
10-15 thousand rupees per month
even though
they work as ants. Lawyers are
also
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
as compared to their struggles in
Possible spelling mistake found.
quailifying
in the exams to become an advocate.
Moreover
, these athletes do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
that much money for survival
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should look more into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
less than they require. This in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to increase the country's economy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
games for their country are not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for that huge amount of salaries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well deserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are working day and night for survival should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
well.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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