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Some people feel that crime can be reduced by increasing police numbers while others believe that social upliftment, such as better education and housing, will bring crime rates down. What are your views?

Some people feel that crime can be reduced by increasing police numbers while others believe that social upliftment, such as better education and housing, will bring crime rates down. What are your views? rKpOn
Nowadays, crime rates are progressively increasing, and research estimates shows that it increases more and more. But what is the main solution for this? Is it to recruit a larger number of policemen or to uplift the social level of the societies? A number people claim that the optimal solution is to increase the workforce of the police, however, I personally feel that the social upliftment is the cornerstone here. In this essay, I will discuss my viewpoint, and support it with relevant examples. Many people believe in the power of the authority like the police power, and they feel that the recruitment of more personnel to work for the police would positively affect the crime rates. They may have a point here for several reasons. First, they claim that having a larger number of policemen would create a better control on the community. Secondly, they argue that this would create a sense of threat for the criminals; decreasing the crime rates. However, these arguments ignored that in many countries like Egypt, the number of policemen is dramatically increasing with a non-corresponding decrease in the crime rates; raising concerns about the above-mentioned postulation. I personally believe more in the second suggestion, suggesting to improve the general condition of the society to gain better results with the declination in the crime rates. This can be convincing for me for several reasons. Initially, improving the educational and financial situation would significantly improve the psychological and mental condition of the criminals; affecting the desire for deviation positively. Furthermore, if the murder/thief has a good housing and stable family condition, this would probably deviate his mind away from criminals; avoiding loosing what he already has. A perfect example for this was the age of Omar Ibn Abdelaziz, as the crime rates were almost zero due to the significant improvement the society witnessed, that the history classified this age as a golden one. In conclusion, however some people may argue that the crime rates would decline through the increase in the number of police officers, I do believe that the excellent solution here is in the development of the societies at all levels. Therefore, steps have to be taken to raise the quality of life in the communities; minimizing the crime rates, and having a better, more peaceful and more secure place to live in.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are
progressively
increasing, and research estimates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that it increases more and more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what is the main solution for this? Is it to recruit a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of policemen or to uplift the social level of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
? A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the optimal solution is to increase the workforce of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
,
however
, I
personally
feel that the social
Possible spelling mistake found.
upliftment
is the cornerstone here. In this essay, I will discuss my viewpoint, and support it with relevant examples.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in the power of the authority like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
power, and they feel that the recruitment of more personnel to work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
would
positively
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. They may have a point here for several reasons.
First
, they claim that having a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of policemen would create a better control on the community.
Secondly
, they argue that this would create a sense of threat for the criminals; decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
However
, these arguments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries like Egypt, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of policemen is
dramatically
increasing with a non-corresponding decrease in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
; raising concerns about the above-mentioned postulation.

I
personally
believe more in the second suggestion, suggesting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the general condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to gain better results with the declination in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
. This can be convincing for me for several reasons.
Initially
, improving the educational and financial situation would
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the psychological and mental condition of the criminals; affecting the desire for deviation
positively
.
Furthermore
, if the murder/thief has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
housing and stable family condition, this would
probably
deviate his mind away from criminals; avoiding loosing what he already has. A perfect example for this was the age of Omar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ibn
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abdelaziz
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
were almost zero due to the significant improvement the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
witnessed, that the history classified this age as a golden one.

In conclusion
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
would decline through the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
officers, I do believe that the excellent solution here is in the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
at all levels.
Therefore
, steps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be taken
to raise the quality of life in the communities; minimizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
, and having a better, more peaceful and more secure place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that crime can be reduced by increasing police numbers while others believe that social upliftment, such as better education and housing, will bring crime rates down. What are your views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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