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some people feel advertising is succesful

some people feel advertising is succesful 7J5lX
Some people feel advertising is successful, but some don’t pay attetion to it. What is the difference between these two? In this section, I am going to write about advertising based on my own opinion. First of all is whether advertising is effecting our decision to buy things. In this paragraph, I am going to compare the merits of advertising from the side of people who creates advertisement, and consumers. I suspect that people who makes adveristisements are willing to have the ads to be seen by as many people as possible. Therefore they keep creating it and having us see it everyday by using many kinds of platforms. Nowadays not only TV commercials but also they are tons of ways to make us view the advertisements. The most common one I suggest is YouTube. Everytime we tap on the thumbnail to watch the video, the commercial starts and it makes us wait until all of the commercial ends. Not only before the video starts, but also ads play on after the video starts. Because of these aspects of commercials, I can understand the opinion of people who no longer pay attetion to it. Just like the topic sentences say, I also think they are two kinds of way to feel about the advertisiments. As I mentioned already, there are people who feels annoying or do not want to be interrupted by it. However in my opinion, people who has negative opinion for adveritising are controling their mind to not to think about it. Not like that they are so common and don’t pay attention to it. As a result, no one can’t avoid seeing ads nor stopping to pay attention. Finally I will give my opinion about advertising. I personally think it is succesful for our purchase. The reason is because I make my decision to buy things after seeing some ads on TV or on the internet. For example, last time I bought some lemon-flavored vitamin juice at supermarket, I purchased it because I saw my favorite singer appeared on the commercial of the juice. I don’t even like sour flavoured drinks but I happen to buy it because I saw the commercial. Therefore I think advertising have great effects on making our decision to purchase things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
feel advertising is successful,
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
don’t
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pay
Possible spelling mistake found.
attetion
to it. What is the difference between these two? In this section, I am going to write about advertising based on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
is whether advertising is effecting our decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. In this paragraph, I am going to compare the merits of advertising from the side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
creates advertisement, and consumers. I suspect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "make"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
makes
Possible spelling mistake found.
adveristisements
are willing to have the ads to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as possible.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
creating it and having us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it everyday by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of platforms.

Nowadays not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
TV commercials
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are tons of ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us view the advertisements. The most common one I suggest is YouTube.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Everytime
we tap on the thumbnail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the video, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us wait until
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
ends. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the video
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ads play on after the video
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these aspects of commercials, I can understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
no longer
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pay
Possible spelling mistake found.
attetion
to it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like the topic sentences say, I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they are two kinds of way to feel about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisiments
. As I mentioned already, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "feel"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
feels
annoying or do not want to
be interrupted
by it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
adveritising
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
controling
their mind
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
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think
about it. Not like that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common and don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
attention to it.
As a result
, no one can’t avoid seeing ads nor stopping to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
attention.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
I will give my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
about advertising. I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesful
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. The reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
my decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things after seeing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ads on TV or on the internet.
For example
, last time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
lemon-flavored vitamin juice at supermarket, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my favorite singer appeared on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
of the juice. I don’t even like sour
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavoured' is British English.
flavoured
drinks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I happen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
advertising have great effects on making our decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things.
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IELTS essay some people feel advertising is succesful

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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