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some people enjoy working alone. Others would rather work in a group. What is your preference? Explain why

some people enjoy working alone. Others would rather work in a group. What is your preference? Explain why 7LmJk
In my opinion, I am an introverted person so I would like to work alone rather than in a team. To be honest, I will be more comfortable and relaxed, deeply concentrate on my tasks and eliminate the negative things at the office. Which is really helpful and suitable for my characteristics. First of all, working alone will make me feel more comfortable and relaxing. Actually, I can work on my own style and don’t depend on somebody else. I can manage and conduct my responsibilities into my wanted plan and intentions. During working time, I can make some challenges or be clueless and even make mistakes. And when working alone, I can gradually address and recorrect the problems, and I won’t be affected by anyone else. Another reason, it helps me concentrate as well as possible. The fact is that when we work alone, we have our own space and don’t pay attention to anything or people around us. More or less, it will help us deeply focus on our duties and carefully research and complete my assignments. It is really beneficial for me to work or study more effectively. Finally, I can eliminate some negative matters and criticisms. It can’t be denied that working in a group will have many challenges, conflicts, and even argumentations. And, being alone will help me avoid and drag myself out of negative matters and gossipy discussions which I shouldn't have. As a result, I will have a great and positive working day and don’t drift into some unessential problems. In conclusion, I believe that working alone can help me work effectively and efficiently. I have my own space which is really comfortable and enjoyable to work in. I have a deep concentration in the whole process and eliminate the negative things at the office.
In my opinion, I am an introverted person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
rather
than in a team. To be honest, I will be more comfortable and relaxed,
deeply
concentrate on my tasks and eliminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things at the office. Which is
really
helpful and suitable for my characteristics.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me feel more comfortable and relaxing. Actually, I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
style and don’t depend on somebody else. I can manage and conduct my responsibilities into my wanted plan and intentions. During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
time, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges or be clueless and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes. And when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, I can
gradually
address and
Possible spelling mistake found.
recorrect
the problems, and I won’t be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by anyone else.

Another reason, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
me concentrate
as well
as possible. The fact is that when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
, we have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space and don’t pay attention to anything or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around us. More or less, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us
deeply
focus on our duties and
carefully
research and complete my assignments. It is
really
beneficial for me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study more
effectively
.

Finally
, I can eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
matters and criticisms. It can’t
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in a group will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenges, conflicts, and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
argumentations
. And, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me avoid and drag myself out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
matters and gossipy discussions which I shouldn't have.
As a result
, I will have a great and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
day and don’t drift into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unessential problems.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
and
efficiently
. I have my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
space which is
really
comfortable and enjoyable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in. I have a deep concentration in the whole process and eliminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
things at the office.
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IELTS essay some people enjoy working alone. Others would rather work in a group. What is your preference? Explain why

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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