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Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. WyBB0
These days, youngsters are keen on seeking adventures and struggling their life by escaping out of their parents' roof. Some view that children leaving their parents house will help them a lot to decide things on their own while some think that they should stay under parental control for as long as possible. Both are valid arguments and hence, in this essay, I will discuss both views and frame a logical conclusion according to my opinion. On the one hand, leaving our parents' house and starting to struggle with life on our own is full of excitement and good points. To commence with, it helps us to improve our self- reliance skills because we will have to manage everything about our everyday life such as house chores, financial management and sociality other than our education. Moreover, we will be able to learn more about life practically and improve new skills to make our own rules and disciplines for ourselves. Additionally, parents are quite inquisitive even though we are mature enough to make decisions for our own life and they are always curious about everything we are doing so it is kind of hard to own a private moment. Moreover, due to the generation gap between parents and children, perspectives on life matters are very different and we always have to deal with arguments. For these reasons, when we decide to move out from our parents' house, we will get more privacy and do not need to tell everything in detail about what we are doing and also will have lesser arguments to deal with parents. On the other hand, moving out of our parents' house will definitely make us face financial problems and house chores. For instance, our parents never make us worry about how much electricity bill we are paying this month and also about piles of clothes that are needed to do the laundry when we are staying at their house and hence we can give full concentration on our education. Furthermore, living together with parents and siblings under the same roof gives us strong emotional support and security. Last but not least, it is not a good idea for naive and youngsters who lack sufficient experience and knowledge to go out of parental control because they have higher possibilities to face vulnerable circumstances. To sum up, I personally think that there are a lot of benefits for young children who have attained their legal maturity to leave their parents house and start struggling their life without someone’s help. Nevertheless, it should not be decided in a hurry and wait for the perfect time.
These days, youngsters are keen on seeking adventures and struggling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by escaping out of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
roof.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
view that children leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them a lot to decide things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should stay under parental control for as long as possible. Both are valid arguments and
hence
, in this essay, I will discuss both views and frame a logical conclusion according to my opinion.

On the one hand, leaving our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and starting to struggle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is full of excitement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points. To commence with, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our self- reliance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage everything about our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores, financial management and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
other than our education.
Moreover
, we will be able to learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
practically
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and disciplines for ourselves.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are quite inquisitive
even though
we are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decisions for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are always curious about everything we are doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a private moment.
Moreover
, due to the generation gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children, perspectives on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
matters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
different and
we always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with arguments. For these reasons, when we decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more privacy and do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
everything in detail about what we are doing and
also
will have lesser arguments to deal with parents.

On the other hand
, moving out of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
will definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us face financial problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
chores.
For instance
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us worry about how much electricity bill we are paying this month and
also
about piles of clothes that
are needed
to do the laundry when we are staying at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and
hence
we can give full concentration on our education.
Furthermore
, living together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and siblings under the same roof gives us strong emotional support and security. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for naive and youngsters who lack sufficient experience and knowledge to go out of parental control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have higher possibilities to face vulnerable circumstances.

To sum up, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for young children who have attained their legal maturity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
struggling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without someone’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Nevertheless
, it should not
be decided
in a hurry and wait for the perfect time.
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IELTS essay Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
436 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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