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Some people do not have problem in spending their free time with their office mates whereas some like to maintain their personal life isolated from their professional life. Both the sides of the life are important, however, personal life should not mingle with work life.

Some people do not have problem in spending their free time with their office mates whereas some like to maintain their personal life isolated from their professional life. Both the sides of the life are important, however, personal life should not mingle with work life. 9LwN7
In recent years, due to increasing competition employees may have to spend a lot of time in office working along-side team members. Some individuals believe that leisure hours should also be spent with colleagues while others opine that work life should not form a part of private life. In my opinion, I agree with the former view. This essay shall discuss both views with examples. Firstly, many people believe that, enormous amount of their time and life is spent in office, which gives them less time for developing personal relationships, as a result, many close and dear relations are lost or forgotten. For instance, Hrithik Roshan, who is a renowned Bollywood actor, was much occupied with work so much that the family may have felt neglected, which resulted in a divorce. As a consequence, the actor had suffered from serious health concerns such as depression and anxiety. In short, individuals spending their free time with office friends may have serious repercussions on their family lives. Secondly, in my opinion, I believe that free time should be also be spent with office staff, as this helps in creating strong bonds and work life in office may be much more fun and interesting. This is because, time is very valuable and people may respect one for investing their available time with them. For instance, if employees working on a same project meet up during weekends for movies or other interesting activities, this will strengthen their bond and help them understand each other. As a consequence, work related quarrels or other concerns may drastically reduce, improving efficiency and productivity. In other words, employees who spend their leisure time with each other may help in creating better understanding among each other. In conclusion, many believe that work life and pirvate life should not be mixed as this can have serious implications on the personal front. However, in my opinion, I firmly believe that, employees who spend time with each other may help create better working environment for each other.
In recent years, due to increasing competition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
working along-side team members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that leisure hours should
also
be spent
with colleagues while others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should not form a part of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view. This essay shall discuss both views with examples.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, enormous amount of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is spent
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
, which gives them less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for developing personal relationships,
as a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
close and dear relations
are lost
or forgotten.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hrithik
Roshan, who is a renowned Bollywood actor, was much occupied with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that the family may have felt neglected, which resulted in a divorce. As a consequence, the actor had suffered from serious health concerns such as depression and anxiety. In short, individuals spending their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
friends may have serious repercussions on their family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Secondly
, in my opinion, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
also
be spent
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
staff, as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in creating strong bonds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
may be much more fun and interesting. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may respect one for investing their available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them.
For instance
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
working on a same project
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up during weekends for movies or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interesting activities, this will strengthen their bond and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related quarrels or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
concerns may
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
, improving efficiency and productivity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in creating better understanding among each other.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pirvate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should not
be mixed
as this can have serious implications on the personal front.
However
, in my opinion, I
firmly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
create better working environment for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay Some people do not have problem in spending their free time with their office mates whereas some like to maintain their personal life isolated from their professional life. Both the sides of the life are important, however, personal life should not mingle with work life.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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