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some people belive that they should keep their money and the do not havr

some people belive that they should keep their money and the do not havr pRK9m
It is not uncommon to come across people around us who are unwilling to pay tax. They believe that the money they earn is theirs and they should have the right to keep it all to themselves (topic statement). Personally, I do not approve of this attitude and believe that taxation has many points in its favor. (thesis statement) Firstly, if people failed to paying tax, it affects the positive function of public facilities such as public transportation. Examples worth mentioning are, public transportation which provides basic mobility service to people without access to car and save money, travel faster and help to the environment. Next to that, tax money helps to build the roads you travel on to be safe and well maintained with the rest of the facilities on the roads. Secondly, tax is also used to help and support groups of people in the society with special help and needs. If someone becomes a handicapped person and is not able to live normal anymore all his costs are paid from health insurance. Or if somebody lost his job and become unemployed, he will be able to use his unemployment benefit to support them financially until he finds a new job. Besides, that for the period that he is unemployed he will not pay an¬¬¬y tax. Finally, tax is also being used to finance government public services which are used to manage and control the whole country such as police, fire brigade, the army and government salaries other services are things such as public hospitals, roads, bridges and parks. This tax money helps the country to invest in various projects for the country’s infrastructure providing a comfortable and safe lifestyle and to pay of its debt.
It is not uncommon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us who are unwilling to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
. They believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
theirs and
they should have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it all to themselves (topic statement).
Personally
, I do not approve of this attitude and believe that taxation has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
points in its favor. (thesis statement)

Firstly
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
failed to paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, it affects the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation. Examples worth mentioning are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation which provides basic mobility service to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without access to car and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, travel faster and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the environment.
Next
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to build the roads you travel on to be safe and well maintained with the rest of the facilities on the roads.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and support groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society with special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
and needs. If someone becomes a handicapped person and is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
normal
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
all his costs
are paid
from health insurance. Or if somebody lost his job and become unemployed, he will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his unemployment benefit to support them
financially
until he finds a new job.
Besides
, that for the period that he
is unemployed
he will not pay
Possible spelling mistake found.
an¬¬¬y
tax.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
is
also
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to finance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manage and control the whole country such as police, fire brigade, the army and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
salaries other services are things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
hospitals, roads, bridges and parks. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the country to invest in various projects for the country’s infrastructure providing a comfortable and safe lifestyle and to pay of its debt.
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IELTS essay some people belive that they should keep their money and the do not havr

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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