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Some people believe who skillfully do sport should receive greater money, although some others think other critical jobs are deserved to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession, but other jobs basically have longer time to work Firstly, it can be recognized that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In other words, they cannot continue exercise at every age, so the chance is short to appear successfully. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is reduced after age 35 even in sports body, however, they should have enough assets to create a job for rest of the life. For example, Ali Dai, a famous footballer, start to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money were paid to him because of his amazing performance on the Iran football team This can be seen, athletics between teenagers are so popular. They enjoy following their favorites and make a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. A

Some people believe who skillfully do sport should receive greater money, although some others think other critical jobs are deserved to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession, but other jobs basically have longer time to work Firstly, it can be recognized that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In other words, they cannot continue exercise at every age, so the chance is short to appear successfully. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is reduced after age 35 even in sports body, however, they should have enough assets to create a job for rest of the life. For example, Ali Dai, a famous footballer, start to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money were paid to him because of his amazing performance on the Iran football team This can be seen, athletics between teenagers are so popular. They enjoy following their favorites and make a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. A qVkME
Some people believe who skillfully do sport should receive greater money, although some others think other critical jobs are deserved to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession, but other jobs basically have longer time to work Firstly, it can be recognized that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In other words, they cannot continue exercise at every age, so the chance is short to appear successfully. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is reduced after age 35 even in sports body, however, they should have enough assets to create a job for rest of the life. For example, Ali Dai, a famous footballer, start to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money were paid to him because of his amazing performance on the Iran football team This can be seen, athletics between teenagers are so popular. They enjoy following their favorites and make a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. According to psychological research, it is better for young people to be encouraged to physical activity, consequently, it sounds a logical way to improve sport and boost financial facilities for sports heroes. For instance, a majority of Ronaldo's fans tell that their motivation in sport is to get a strong and powerful body like him On the other hand, many occupations like medication, teaching, and engineering can keep if for 30 years. Referring to the investigation, when the human brain works more and more, as a result, it gets more capacity, in contrast, physics in a severe hard-working will be hurt. It makes a sense of limitation to chase exercise forever, that is impossible, therefore athletes should be retired sooner than others. For example, a basketball player who evaluates his ability at the maximum score, but his coach advised him to leave it gradually, if not, in the future he would receive irreversible injuries In conclusion, it is fair to pay money to a skillful sportsman. Also, it is recommended representing more athletes' achievements and stimulate adolescents to do regular activities. It is likely to make a healthy society with a culture tend to exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe who
skillfully
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
should receive greater money, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
critical jobs
are deserved
to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
jobs
basically
have longer time to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
work


Firstly
, it can
be recognized
that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they cannot continue exercise at every age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the chance is short to appear
successfully
. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
after age 35 even in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
body,
however
, they should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
assets to create a job for rest of the life.
For example
, Ali
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dai
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
footballer,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money
were paid
to him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his amazing performance on the Iran football
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
team


This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, athletics between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
popular. They enjoy following their favorites and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. According to psychological research, it is better for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
be encouraged
to physical activity,
consequently
, it sounds a logical way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and boost financial facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
heroes.
For instance
, a majority of Ronaldo's fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that their motivation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a strong and powerful body like
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
him


On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
occupations like medication, teaching, and engineering can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
if for 30 years. Referring to the investigation, when the human brain works more and more,
as a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more capacity,
in contrast
, physics in a severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working will
be hurt
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a sense of limitation to chase exercise forever,
that is
impossible,
therefore
athletes should
be retired
sooner than others.
For example
, a basketball player who evaluates his ability at the maximum score,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his coach advised him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it
gradually
, if not, in the future he would receive irreversible
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
injuries


In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to pay money to a skillful sportsman.
Also
, it
is recommended
representing more athletes' achievements and stimulate adolescents to do regular activities. It is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a healthy society with a culture tend to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
exercise
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IELTS essay Some people believe who skillfully do sport should receive greater money, although some others think other critical jobs are deserved to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession, but other jobs basically have longer time to work Firstly, it can be recognized that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In other words, they cannot continue exercise at every age, so the chance is short to appear successfully. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is reduced after age 35 even in sports body, however, they should have enough assets to create a job for rest of the life. For example, Ali Dai, a famous footballer, start to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money were paid to him because of his amazing performance on the Iran football team This can be seen, athletics between teenagers are so popular. They enjoy following their favorites and make a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. A

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people believe who skillfully do sport should receive greater money, although some others think other critical jobs are deserved to give more. In my opinion, sportsmen and women have a limited period to stay in their profession, but other jobs basically have longer time to work Firstly, it can be recognized that they have the highest level of energy in a limited range. In other words, they cannot continue exercise at every age, so the chance is short to appear successfully. All scientific evidence demonstrated physical power is reduced after age 35 even in sports body, however, they should have enough assets to create a job for rest of the life. For example, Ali Dai, a famous footballer, start to establish restaurants, malls, and gyms through money were paid to him because of his amazing performance on the Iran football team This can be seen, athletics between teenagers are so popular. They enjoy following their favorites and make a symbol of efforts to increase the passion. A