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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. VBEbJ
It is argued that personal time should be spent developing our brains to work more efficiently mostly by engaging in tasks, for example, solving complex patterns and gaining new knowledge. Although, I am of the opinion that this precious free time should be set aside to only relax and enjoy oneself during that period. Improvement is only made when the effort is put upon it; consequently, intermittent hard work will drain the energy out of a person. Work is considered a chore in which no one willingly dives in and persues, provided if it becomes compulsory or anyhow productive. People do get involved in order to achieve their goal and derive an output from it, therefore, at the end of the day, they are exhausted and not refreshed for the coming next. Furthermore, self-improvement is also burdening activity on the mind whether people do things they love. It requires strategy and deep thinking, attention, processing to work upon the required skills to mastery. This self-driven grind for transformation is always a stressful task and wears out a person mentally at the end of the day. However, leisure time should be consumed in doing things an individual likes without the hope of receiving a reward. For instance, the Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein, did, in fact, played the piano when taking a break to calm down his mind. This tactic he employed is the method utilized to distract his god-gifted mind and cool off a bit to think more precisely. This routine, in return, helped him gain the title, 'Father of Physics'. In addition, pursuing hobbies, just for the fun of it, make a person develop himself indirectly through a process called implicit learning. It is scientifically proven that our brain absorbs information and analyzes it whether we pay attention to it or not. As a result, we do pick up on new things which we love without looking forwards to a reward when finished. This way it helps us relax and rejuvenate our mind simultaneously. In conclusion, while leisure time spent on self-improvement activities will only add up the stress of the day and wear out a person, I believe that time allocated to enjoy oneself should be consumed in relaxing our nerves so that the person can get refreshed, fully charged to come to his/her routine all fresh and motivated.
It
is argued
that personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be spent
developing our brains to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
efficiently
mostly
by engaging in tasks,
for example
, solving complex patterns and gaining new knowledge. Although, I am of the opinion that this precious free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be set
aside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relax and enjoy oneself during that period.

Improvement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
made when the effort
is put
upon it;
consequently
, intermittent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will drain the energy out of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Work
is considered
a chore in which no one
willingly
dives in and
Possible spelling mistake found.
persues
, provided if it becomes compulsory or anyhow productive.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in order to achieve their goal and derive an output from it,
therefore
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, they
are exhausted
and not refreshed for the coming
next
.
Furthermore
, self-improvement is
also
burdening activity on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do things they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. It requires strategy and deep thinking, attention, processing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
upon the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to mastery. This self-driven grind for transformation is always a stressful task and wears out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
mentally at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day.

However
, leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be consumed
in doing things an individual likes without the hope of receiving a reward.
For instance
, the Nobel Prize winner, Albert Einstein, did, in fact, played the piano when taking a break to calm down his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. This tactic he employed is the method utilized to distract his god-gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and cool off a bit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more
precisely
. This routine, in return,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him gain the title, 'Father of Physics'.
In addition
, pursuing hobbies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the fun of it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
develop himself
indirectly
through a process called implicit learning. It is
scientifically
proven that our brain absorbs information and analyzes it whether we pay attention to it or not.
As a result
, we do pick up on new things which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
without looking forwards to a reward when finished. This way it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us relax and rejuvenate our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
simultaneously
.

In conclusion
, while leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on self-improvement activities will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the day and wear out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to enjoy oneself should
be consumed
in relaxing our nerves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
refreshed,
fully
charged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to his/her routine all fresh and motivated.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. To what extend do you agree or disagree.