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in some countries the number of shooting increase because many people have guns at home. to what extent do you agree or disagree

in some countries the number of shooting increase because many people have guns at home. jR9Jw
I want to deal with shooting in some countries. These days we hear about shooting in public in the news. Some countries allow people to have guns and hold guns for themselves. But it creates problems in societies. These problems have become the spark debate for the last twenty years. In some countries, having guns is lawful, and people can have guns. But there are some disadvantages such as shooting in public and killing innocent people. Shooting problems are dramatically increased by people who are not mature to use guns. For instance, some years ago in Colorado, a young man who was equipped with a gun killed twenty students who studied there. Some countries such as the United States of America have got a large portion of crimes with guns in the last twenty years. Some psychologists suggest that people who want to buy a gun should pass tests. For instance, phycological tests should be given by phycologists before people want to buy guns. The latest research at Harvard University shows that people who have started shooting in public suffer from schizophrenia and paranoia. Another rule that can be enforced by the government is restrictions on using guns. They can make a narrow list of people who are eligible for using guns. For instance, guns should be used by people who work for governments or military service, etc. On the opposite side, opponents say, having guns is essential for protection of our families. In my opinion, people don’t need to have guns, because gun violations intensely surge in public. Governments should financially support police enforcement to provide security and confidence for society. If the above steps are taken by governments, the situation will surely be improved in the coming years.
I want to deal with
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shooting
in
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. These days we hear about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shooting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
in the news.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
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people
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
and hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
for themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it creates problems in societies. These problems have become the spark debate for the last twenty years.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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countries
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
is lawful, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as
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shooting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
and killing innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shooting
problems are
dramatically
increased by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not mature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years ago in Colorado, a young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was equipped
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
killed twenty students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
studied there.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as the United States of America have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a large portion of crimes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
in the last twenty years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
psychologists suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
should pass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycologists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
. The latest research at Harvard University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shooting
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
suffer from schizophrenia and paranoia. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
that can
be enforced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is restrictions on using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a narrow list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are eligible for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
or military service, etc. On the opposite side, opponents say, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
is essential for protection of our families.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t need to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
violations
intensely
surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should
financially
support police enforcement to provide security and confidence for society. If the above steps
are taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
, the situation will
surely
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in the coming years.
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IELTS essay in some countries the number of shooting increase because many people have guns at home.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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