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Some people believe watching TV is bad for children. Others believe it is a good thing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with and why? Please provide specific reasons, details and examples to support your response.

Some people believe watching TV is bad for children. Others believe it is a good thing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with and why? Please provide specific reasons, details and examples to support your response. X7l78
There are two opposite opinions whether someone can consider if it is right or wrong for young kids to watch TV. I will do a comparison first between the advantages and disadvantages of it and then state my personal opinion. First of all, TV and technology promote educational programs and entertainment in the fastest way we have ever seen before. Mobiles and electronic devices nowadays are very accessible and cheap, so any family could afford to buy them. Also, kids will have a lot of possibilities to learn, for example, they could learn a foreign language or even discover a new dance in which all the family could get involved. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages, for example, there is violent content all over the web and kids can watch it, even by accident. That will impact them because when we are young we are more sensible. So, a lot of shows are not suitable for children and need parental supervisor but parents are not always around to control it. Besides that, one of the more relevant aspects is that it does not promote physical activity and it will lead to severe problems such as obesity. To sum up, I believe kids should not watch TV they are very curious so they will find other ways to get learn, to interact with others and to have fun.
There are two opposite opinions whether someone can consider if it is right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV. I will do a comparison
first
between the advantages and disadvantages of it and then state my personal opinion.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, TV and technology promote educational programs and entertainment in the fastest way we have ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Mobiles and electronic devices nowadays are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
accessible and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
any family could afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
possibilities to learn,
for example
, they could learn a foreign language or even discover a new dance in which all the family could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages,
for example
, there is violent content all over the web and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it, even by accident. That will impact them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when we are young we are more sensible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are not suitable for children and need parental supervisor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
parents are not always around to control it.
Besides
that, one of the more relevant aspects is that it does not promote physical activity and it will lead to severe problems such as obesity.

To sum up, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
curious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will find other ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
learn, to interact with others and to have fun.
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IELTS essay Some people believe watching TV is bad for children. Others believe it is a good thing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with and why? Please provide specific reasons, details and examples to support your response.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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