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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. pVVy
Education has a vital role in building a nation. While there are number of people who argues that education serves as a tool to help an individual become useful in a society, others believe that education’s main purpose is to guide people to reach their dreams. In my opinion, both sides are equally true in serving education’s main purpose. People in all walks of life understand the value of education, and how it can help a person to have a better life. At a young age, children go to school to teach them about the importance of education and how it can help them achieve their dreams. For example, while I was growing up, my parents would always tell me to study hard so that I can be whatever I want to be. When I hear those phrases as a child, it made me realise that the main purpose of education is to help me be successful in life, otherwise I will not earn good money. Furthermore, underprivileged people want to finish their studies as they believe that education will help them get out of poverty and give their family a better life. Conversely, education is also helping individuals to be a valuable asset of the society. if a person is educated, he/she will be able to find a good job, and through his job, he can be able to contribute to the society. To illustrate, all blue- and white-collar professions require a level of education to be able to qualify. A doctor’s main contribution to the society is to aid those who are sick and less privileged, and in order for him to do that, he needs a medicine degree to be a licensed doctor. Likewise, In conclusion, the main purpose of education serves both the individual and society. When a person is able to achieve his/her dreams, he/she will also be able to contribute to the economy making him/her a useful citizen of the society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
has a vital role in building a nation. While there are number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
serves as a tool to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
an individual become useful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
purpose is to guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to reach their dreams. In my opinion, both sides are
equally
true in serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
purpose.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in all walks of life understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and how it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a person to have a better life. At a young age, children go to school to teach them about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and how it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them achieve their dreams.
For example
, while I was growing up, my parents would always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can be whatever I want to be. When I hear those phrases as a child, it made me
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
me be successful in life,
otherwise
I will not earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money.
Furthermore
, underprivileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to finish their studies as they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of poverty and give their family a better life.

Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
also
helping individuals to be a valuable asset of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
a person
is educated
, he/she will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job, and through his job, he can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to contribute to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. To illustrate, all blue- and white-collar professions require a level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to qualify. A doctor’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is to aid those who are sick and less privileged, and in order for him to do that, he needs a medicine degree to be a licensed doctor.
Likewise
,

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
serves both the individual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. When a person is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to achieve his/her dreams, he/she will
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to contribute to the economy making him/her a useful citizen of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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