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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. O1MN
Many people have different views concerning the aim of education. While some argue that the main purpose of education is to make students be beneficial for society, others tend to believe that they should be educated to encourage their aspiration. In this essay, I will analyze both viewpoints and give my own perspective. On the one hand, the initial aim of schools is not only imparting knowledge to students, but also for further targets, making people beneficial to society. It is the fact that in the era of modernization, young people are required different academic knowledge and job-related skills to deal with their work and make the society be more positive. In this case, schools play a vital role in teaching the pupils about core and fundamental knowledge and social skills as preparation for their future. On the other hand, there are those who mainly view education as a tool to empower the individual. Everybody is a genius, and students should be guided to discover exactly their passion. Education based on the capacity of students could help them achieve success and devote their abilities to develop society. In conclusion, I believe that both views ảe true in different cases. Should students be educated in a professional environment, they could catch their dream and even give hands on helping the society be more developed positively.
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Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views concerning the aim of
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education
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that the main purpose of
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education
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, others tend to believe that they should
be educated
to encourage their aspiration. In this essay, I will analyze both viewpoints and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective.

On the one hand, the initial aim of schools is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
imparting knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
further
targets, making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It is the fact that in the era of modernization, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
academic knowledge and job-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to deal with their work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.
In this case
, schools play a vital role in teaching the pupils about core and fundamental knowledge and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as preparation for their future.

On the other hand
, there are those who
mainly
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as a tool to empower the individual. Everybody is a genius, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be guided
to discover exactly their passion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
based on the capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve success and devote their abilities to develop society.

In conclusion
, I believe that both views
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ảe
true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cases. Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be educated
in a professional environment, they could catch their dream and even give hands on helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
be more developed
positively
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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