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Nowadays, many people drive to work or school instead of walking, cycling or using public transport. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people drive to work or school instead of walking, cycling or using public transport. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? AbBx
Although beneficial in many aspects, eco friendly means of transportation such as biking, taking a walk or using public modes fade into insignificance when compared with the convenience offered by private vehicles. It is perhaps because of this comfort that people in the contemporary world prefer their personal cars when commuting which in my opinion is more detrimental compared to the plus points. On the downside, it is common knowledge that over-reliance on private vehicles may take its toll on both the environment and people. The most irreparable damage which should be mostly blamed on soaring numbers of passenger cars is gridlock in densely-populated cities. This issue arising from people’s propensity for their personal cars triggers a ripple effect by causing a number of other attendant problems apart from traffic. For instance, air and noise pollution is the ultimate byproduct of congested streets packed with daily commuters who are only concerned about their own benefit and ease. Moreover, compared with walking and cycling, opting for one’s personal transport encourages a sedentary lifestyle with minimum movement. Despite the negatives, the upside of this popular mode of transportation should not be overlooked. Firstly, what cannot be ensured in public areas such as the subway or bus is one’s privacy which remains intact in a car. This is simply because drivers have all the personal space they need and their liberty is not restricted. The freedom is exemplified by how freely they can carry on a telephone conversation without fearing any eavesdroppers. Secondly, unlike public means of transport, commuters do not have to waste their valuable time waiting for the next bus or train. In simple terms, cars are more convenient. To conclude, while I am convinced that private cars are comfortable and protect one’s privacy, there is no denying that they impinge on the environment and people’s lifestyle. For these reasons I believe that using them frequently is harmful.
Although beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eco friendly
means of transportation such as biking, taking a walk or using public modes fade into insignificance when compared with the convenience offered by private vehicles. It is perhaps
because of this
comfort that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the contemporary world prefer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
when commuting which in my opinion is more detrimental compared to the plus points.

On the downside, it is common knowledge that over-reliance on private vehicles may take its toll on both the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The most irreparable damage which should be
mostly
blamed on soaring numbers of passenger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is gridlock in
densely
-populated cities. This issue arising from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
propensity for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
triggers a ripple effect by causing a number of other attendant problems apart from traffic.
For instance
, air and noise pollution is the ultimate byproduct of congested streets packed with daily commuters who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concerned about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
Moreover
, compared with walking and cycling, opting for one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
transport encourages a sedentary lifestyle with minimum movement.

Despite the negatives, the upside of this popular mode of transportation should not
be overlooked
.
Firstly
, what cannot
be ensured
in public areas such as the subway or bus is one’s privacy which remains intact in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. This is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
drivers have all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
space they need and their liberty is not restricted. The freedom
is exemplified
by how
freely
they can carry on a telephone conversation without fearing any eavesdroppers.
Secondly
, unlike public means of transport, commuters do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
waste their valuable time waiting for the
next
bus or train. In simple terms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are more convenient.

To conclude
, while I
am convinced
that private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are comfortable and protect one’s privacy, there is no denying that they impinge on the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle. For these reasons I believe that using them
frequently
is harmful.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people drive to work or school instead of walking, cycling or using public transport. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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