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Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion 9DN7
Several people are bound to have differing views on this topic. In my opinion, people can serve society, if they will, even while achieving their dreams. However, a few of them believe that education should emphasize helping human beings accomplish their aspirations and strive to acquire knowledge for their own personal gain. The main aim of education was to instill knowledge, skills, values, morals and beliefs in an individual which can prove to be useful for the community in general. I shall elaborate on these views and discuss a few other aspects of this topic in the forthcoming paragraphs. My views on this topic are strengthened by a few experiences in my personal life. For instance, my sibling always desired to be a Dentist, since our childhood, whilst also wanting it to be beneficial for society. Hence, I strongly believe that a person can be passionate about their ambition and still provide value to mankind. Indeed, in order to achieve a certain goal in life, an individual needs to have motivation and inspiration, which can be obtained through education. The purpose of education is to inspire individuals to acquire knowledge on a particular field of their choice and therefore helping them gain the skills required to make them market-ready. Apart from knowledge and skills, schooling also focuses on strengthening the principles of right and wrong among people. Its absolutely necessary for a human being to have dreams and aspirations in life, no matter big or small, as a coping mechanism in order to fulfil their extravagant needs. In spite of this, they can still be useful to the human race by paying their taxes on time or giving out charitable funds to the underprivileged. Based on the elaborate discussion in the paragraphs above, we can conclude that education should mostly emphasize assisting people to provide value to human beings whilst also helping them pull off their objectives in order for them to be successful in their lives.
Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are bound
to have differing views on this topic. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can serve society, if they will, even while achieving their dreams.
However
, a few of them believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should emphasize helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings accomplish their aspirations and strive to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal gain. The main aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was to instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, values, morals and beliefs in an individual which can prove to be useful for the community
in general
. I shall elaborate on these views and discuss a few other aspects of this topic in the forthcoming paragraphs.

My views on this topic
are strengthened
by a few experiences in my personal life.
For instance
, my sibling always desired to be a Dentist, since our childhood, whilst
also
wanting it to be beneficial for society.
Hence
, I
strongly
believe that a person can be passionate about their ambition and
still
provide value to mankind.
Indeed
, in order to achieve a certain goal in life, an individual needs to have motivation and inspiration, which can
be obtained
through education.

The purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to inspire individuals to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
on a particular field of their choice and
therefore
helping them gain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them market-ready. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, schooling
also
focuses on strengthening the principles of right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Its
absolutely
necessary for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being to have dreams and aspirations in life, no matter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, as a coping mechanism in order to fulfil their extravagant needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this, they can
still
be useful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race by paying their taxes on time or giving out charitable funds to the underprivileged.

Based on the elaborate discussion in the paragraphs above, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
mostly
emphasize assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide value to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings whilst
also
helping them pull off their objectives in order for them to be successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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