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It can be observed that, gone are the days when people were healthy and active as compare to the individuals of this era.

It can be observed that, gone are the days when people were healthy and active as compare to the individuals of this era. 2DGw
It can be observed that, gone are the days when people were healthy and active as compare to the individuals of this era. Now folks are not healthy because of technology and this problem can be tackled by the combined efforts of Government and people. The main cause of this issue is technology which has reduced the people's efforts. Individuals prefer to complete their daily work by machines. As a consequence, they have become lazy. Moreover, competition is increasing day by day. Therfore, people do work around the clock. Consequently, they do not get time for the relaxation and physical exercise, which is vital for health. In result, they are leading a lazy lifestyle. Another reason is eating habits. Nowadays, mass like to eat junk food which is preparing by divergent kind of oil that is not good for health. Due to, fast food people suffer from health related allivations. Individuals need to do exercise for the digestion of certain type of food. For owing to lack of physical exercise people face problems like obesity which is the pre-cursor of another problems related to health. Despite all the reason, this menace can be reduced by the awareness regarding the effects of inactive life style. People should do physical exercise as well as, they ought to reduce the usage of technology in their daily life and they should make their physical efforts to complete work. Besides this, Government may organise seminars and establish the health club which can help people to mitigate health related problems and provide benefits of healthy food. To conclude, people are not fit nowadays because of sedentary lifestyle. Whereas, individuals can solve this problem by encouraging themselves to do physical exercise and with the action of Government.
It can
be observed
that, gone are the days when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were healthy and active as compare to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
of this era.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
folks are not healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technology and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be tackled
by the combined efforts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The main cause of this issue is technology which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's efforts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
prefer to complete their daily work by machines. As a consequence, they have become lazy.
Moreover
, competition is increasing day by day.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Therfore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do work around the clock.
Consequently
, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
time for the relaxation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, which is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In result, they are leading a lazy lifestyle.

Another reason is eating habits. Nowadays, mass like to eat junk food which is preparing by divergent kind of oil
that is
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Due to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related
Possible spelling mistake found.
allivations
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
need to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
for the digestion of certain type of food. For owing to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like obesity which is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-cursor
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to health.

Despite all the reason, this menace can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by the awareness regarding the effects of inactive life style.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as well
as, they ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of technology in their daily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
efforts to complete work.
Besides
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
may
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
seminars and establish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
club which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and provide benefits of healthy food.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not fit nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary lifestyle. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by encouraging themselves to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and with the action of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
.
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IELTS essay It can be observed that, gone are the days when people were healthy and active as compare to the individuals of this era.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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