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Keeping full attendance in class is necessary for the development of students. Do you agree or disagree?

Keeping full attendance in class is necessary for the development of students. R5xQo
Blue-collars have been one of the most important indispensable steps of life and its vital role nowadays is undeniable. However, learning in class is considered an inevitable direction for students by many scholars. In my opinion, I strongly agree with the aforementioned viewpoints due to the negative attraction of knowledge in the future. On the one hand, the majority of reasons for classroom attendance is essential with each individual is due to the myriad of benefits such as improving career opportunities. To be more specific, studying is widely regarded as one of the most effective methods in order to get a high quality of jobs by expressing the potential skills that the organizations need. Besides, many scholars have stated that a plethora of newly graduated students have positive behaviours and highly specialized professions than the others due to the kindness that is emphasized. On the other hand, it is obvious that spending a huge amount of time on learning has potential mental issues such as students' psychology. More specifically, the fact is that the majority of cases that lead to mental depression comes from the overload in learning processes and it has the potential to change an individual's behaviors in negative directions. However, the aforementioned viewpoints can be addressed in many methods thoroughly in order to prevent the impact on the development of students. Overall, it is undeniable that the value of learning has a significant impact on each individual's growth due to the impact of education's effect on the development of students. However, the question of whether learning gains are completely remunerative remains unresolved.
Blue-collars have been one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
indispensable steps of life and its vital role nowadays is undeniable.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is considered
an inevitable direction for students by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scholars. In my opinion, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforementioned viewpoints
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attraction of knowledge in the future.

On the one hand, the majority of reasons for classroom attendance is essential with each individual is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the myriad of benefits such as improving career opportunities. To be more specific, studying is
widely
regarded as one of the most effective methods in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high quality of jobs by expressing the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that the organizations need.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scholars have stated that a plethora of
newly
graduated students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and
highly
specialized professions than the others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the kindness that
is emphasized
.

On the other hand
, it is obvious that spending a huge amount of time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has potential mental issues such as students' psychology. More
specifically
, the fact is that the majority of cases that lead to mental depression
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the overload in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
processes and it has the potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
an individual's behaviors in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
directions.
However
, the aforementioned viewpoints can
be addressed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods
thoroughly
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the impact on the development of students.

Overall
, it is undeniable that the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has a significant impact on each individual's growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the impact of education's effect on the development of students.
However
,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
gains are completely remunerative remains unresolved.
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IELTS essay Keeping full attendance in class is necessary for the development of students.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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