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Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ regarding the reason why people are required to be educated is to make a great society through highly intelligent citizens or due to their personal achievements. In my perspective, I believe that the former has more reasonable explanations considering the results from the obligation of teaching the general public. On the one hand, there are two major reasons why some people insist that the reason of education is for individuals' ambitions. Primarily, it is undeniable that the measure of each person's success is closely associated with his or her academic achievement. It is highly likely that the majority of people who have profound careers had accomplished the high level of education. Secondly, to be recognized as a professional in a field, a degree from a university is considered a rudimentary requirement. Even if a person has decades of hand-on experience on a particular field, it would be difficult for him or her to earn a solid credit without academic achievement when it comes to expertise. On the other hand, the reasons for compulsory education are easily found considering the sakes of society. Firstly, the level of the knowledge of the general public is proportional to the measure of its country's development. For instance, what the most developed countries in the modern generation had done in the twentieth century is to obligate education for every citizen. It is because they knew that high intelligent workforces will be of great help in the improvement of nations. Secondly, by teaching people, society will obtain great benefits. Education helps people understand the meaning and importance of conducting citizens' fundamental duties such as paying taxes or voting for future leaders. In conclusion, even though it seems clear that why people need to be taught in terms of their successful careers, I personally think that the primary goal of education is related to making contributing member of society.
Opinions differ regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are required
to
be educated
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
through
highly
intelligent citizens or due to their personal achievements. In my perspective, I believe that the former has more reasonable explanations considering the results from the obligation of teaching the
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
.

On the one hand, there are two major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is for individuals' ambitions.
Primarily
, it is undeniable that the measure of each person's success is
closely
associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
academic achievement. It is
highly
likely that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have profound careers had accomplished the high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Secondly
, to
be recognized
as a professional in a field, a degree from a university
is considered
a rudimentary requirement. Even if a person has decades of hand-on experience on a particular field, it would be difficult for him or her to earn a solid credit without academic achievement when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to expertise.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
easily
found considering the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sakes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, the level of the knowledge of the
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
is proportional to the measure of its country's development.
For instance
, what the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
in the modern generation had done in the twentieth century is to obligate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for every citizen. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they knew that high intelligent
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces
will be of great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the improvement of nations.
Secondly
, by teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will obtain great benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the meaning and importance of conducting citizens' fundamental duties such as paying taxes or voting for future leaders.

In conclusion
,
even though
it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
be taught
in terms of their successful careers, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the primary goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is related
to making contributing member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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