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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In this situation, nowadays human beings depend on different types of activity. some people believe that sport is a very useful game for our mental strength. While others presume that physical backbone is valuable for success in sport. So before arriving at my opinion, both sides of the argument will be analyzed. Focussing on the first view, To begin with, exercise is useful for the daily routine of the people. Another reason is, The player of the sport it is necessary to physical strength so they prefer healthy food and join a gym. Because without exercise they do not become a physical strength. For example, a cricket player is making a strong schedule for our game because they performing a daily more run and exercise. Furthermore, people performing hard work for success in sport. They doing not only more practice and take extra effort for physical strength but also they give attention to win the best prize. Although, The foremost one is the mental strength is more important in the sport. Besides this, when performing a spot game than concentration is more necessary for the player. If, they can not mentally prepare for the game so they can easily fail in the sport. Moreover, mental strength is the main part of the sport. they can help to focus in our work and achieve our goals. To conclude and give my opinion, I believe both sides because both are necessary to make a success in sport. without physical strength and mental strength they can not arrive our aim.
In this situation, nowadays human beings depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of activity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful game for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
. While others presume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
backbone is valuable for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at my opinion, both sides of the argument will
be analyzed
.

Focussing on the
first
view, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, exercise is useful for the daily routine of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Another reason is, The player of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer healthy food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a gym.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
without exercise they do not become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
.
For example
, a cricket player is making a strong schedule for our game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “they’re performing”, “they are performing”, or “they were performing”?
they performing
a daily more run and exercise.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
performing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work for success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “They’re doing”, “They are doing”, or “They were doing”?
They doing
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more practice and take extra effort for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they give attention to win the best prize.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, The foremost one is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Besides
this, when performing a spot game than concentration is more necessary for the player. If, they can not mentally prepare for the game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
easily
fail in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is the main part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
they
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using “focus”.
focus in
our work and achieve our goals.

To conclude
and give my opinion, I believe both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both are necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
they can not arrive our aim.
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IELTS essay Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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