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Some people believe the aim of working hard is just to make money without any other noble reason. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the aim of working hard is just to make money without any other noble reason. oknE9
Nowadays, money has always been the source of everything to buy. Some people think that the purpose of hard work is just to make money, and there is no other noble reason. It is true that the fundamental purpose of work is indeed to make money, but it is unfair for some people who love their work to associate hard work with money only. Therefore, hard work is entirely a personal choice and should not be seen as a reason to earn more income. On the one hand, the fundamental purpose of work is indeed to make money. If work does not make money, people will lose their enthusiasm for work, and people without money have no way of guaranteeing their own food, clothing, and housing. However, work is not It is always related to money, because money cannot buy everything, and some people's enthusiasm for work exceeds monetary benefits. For example, for some philanthropists, and some people who contribute to society, whether they make money is not what they care about most. On the contrary, being able to contribute to society and help more people is far more important than making money. On the other hand, work is the promotion of self-worth. If there is no job, an inactive life will lead to boredom, followed by loneliness and depression for many people, because work provides people with practical direction and motivation to pursue the exact goal of life. In addition, unemployed life may distract people from interpretable behaviours, so in some cases, some unemployed people may find themselves in an addiction trap, which may cause a lot of trouble for individuals and society. In conclusion, although some people think that the reason for hard work is money, many people still work hard to contribute to society and improve self-worth.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has always been the source of everything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and there is no other noble reason. It is true that the fundamental purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
indeed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is unfair for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to associate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
entirely
a personal choice and should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a reason to earn more income.

On the one hand, the fundamental purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
indeed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lose their enthusiasm for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
have no way of guaranteeing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food, clothing, and housing.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not It is always related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's enthusiasm for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
exceeds monetary benefits.
For example
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
philanthropists, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who contribute to society, whether they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not what they care about most.
On the contrary
, being able to contribute to society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than making money.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the promotion of self-worth. If there is no job, an inactive life will lead to boredom, followed by loneliness and depression for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with practical direction and motivation to pursue the exact goal of life.
In addition
, unemployed life may distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from interpretable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may find themselves in an addiction trap, which may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trouble for individuals and society.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to contribute to society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
self-worth.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of working hard is just to make money without any other noble reason.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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