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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. N73y
The modern world is changing at a fast pace than ever before. Professionals do want to update their skills by getting an education at a top-ranked university. The belief that they could end up getting a job with higher pay and the university will make their dream come true. In my opinion, a University education is very important in building an overall personality of an individual. Organizations nowadays look for professionals with a university degree. In this competitive world having the right skillset with a combination of domain knowledge and practical experience is indeed a need now. Hands-on projects or internships with an updated syllabus do provide a strong foundation for the upcoming challenges in one`s career. I believe that getting a university education to achieve a dream career is just one of the fruits that someone might get for his/her hard work. Students in university make bonds for life, start their own startups, and even contribute to society through various awareness programs. The experience, the exposure to different cultures, making new friends, social skills, networking, arranging campaigns, becoming independent and the list goes on. These are the things that cannot be learned through books but only through being present in that moment. In my view, this is what counts the most. All of this motivates an individual to become a better version of himself/herself. To sum up, students should opt for a university education. Not only it enhances their overall personality and character but also equips them with skills for growing professionally.
The modern world is changing at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Professionals do want to update their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at a top-ranked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. The belief that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting a job with higher pay and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.

In my opinion, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in building an
overall
personality of an individual. Organizations nowadays look for professionals with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree. In this competitive world having the right
Possible spelling mistake found.
skillset
with a combination of domain knowledge and practical experience is
indeed
a need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Hands-on projects or internships with an updated syllabus do provide a strong foundation for the upcoming challenges in
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
career.

I believe that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to achieve a dream career is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of the fruits that someone might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for his/her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. Students in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bonds for life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
startups, and even contribute to society through various awareness programs. The experience, the exposure to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, making new friends, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, networking, arranging campaigns, becoming independent and the list goes on. These are the things that cannot
be learned
through books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through being present
The usual collocation for "that moment" is "at" not "in". Did you mean "At that moment"?
in that moment
. In my view, this is what counts the most. All of this motivates an individual to become a better version of himself/herself.

To sum up, students should opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it enhances their
overall
personality and character
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
equips them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for growing
professionally
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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