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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. g2P7
It is frequently argued that a group of people believe that studying in the university help undergraduate in getting prestigious jobs, while there are others who think the university study supplies much wider beneficial probability beside obtaining better jobs. This essay will explain in detail about both opinions, however I do believe that university education provides graduate scholar with a number of advantages. On the one hand, a plethora of people believe that the main objective of college studies to get a good quality job. This idea has been mostly assumed by the public, as many companies are only hiring people who obtained a higher-level diploma. For instance, multinational oil companies such as Shell, Chevron and Caltex hire new staff who has (have) bachelor’s degree, while those who have no degrees only be hired (are only hired by) other small companies. On the other hand, another group of people thinks that university supply (supplies) other life probability besides (the) main job qualities. Firstly, university give a chance to students to improve their own qualities and conscious in other fields. For example, some university give an opportunity to play basketball, football or to do other mental activities such as watching films or listening to music with a group of people and so on. Secondly, university also provide some clubs such as chess, debate, speaking and so on. Students who are joining these clubs can improve yourself in other parts of life and can make speeches very well in the events which are organized by university. Thereby, Universities created conditions for students to participate in clubs. In conclusion, some people believe that university study brings much wider opportunity to get better job, while others disagree with it and think university provide much more probability to students besides getting prestigious job. In my point of view, I do agree that university not only give a chance getting good quality job, but also provide with some other main qualities which are helping people and society to improving.
It is
frequently
argued that a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that studying in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
undergraduate in getting prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, while there are others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
study supplies much wider beneficial probability beside obtaining better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail about both opinions,
however
I do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
graduate scholar with a number of advantages.

On the one hand, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the main objective of college studies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has been
mostly
assumed by the public, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
obtained a higher-level diploma.
For instance
, multinational oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
such as Shell, Chevron and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Caltex
hire new staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has (have) bachelor’s degree, while those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no degrees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be hired
(are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
hired by)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, another group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
supply (supplies)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
life probability
besides
(the) main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
give a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
and conscious in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "universities"?
university
give an opportunity to play basketball, football or to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mental activities such as watching films or listening to music with a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clubs such as chess, debate, speaking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are joining these clubs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
yourself in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of life and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
speeches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which
are organized
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Thereby,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
created conditions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to participate in clubs.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
study brings much wider opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, while others disagree with it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
much more probability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
besides
getting prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In my point of view, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
give a chance getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualities
which are helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and society to improving.

IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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