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It has profoundly been debated that according to numerous individuals schools ought to instruct children vocational skills, while many are of the notion that teaching essential subjects is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will deliberate on them now. On the one hand, I understand why certain people are in favour of the opinion that the students should be instructed vocational skills at school. To begin with, those who have been taught personal knacks are highly likely to obtain employment easily. To be more specific, capabilities that students gain are proven to be necessary in regard to development of societies; ultimately job opportunities are observed to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational skills. Another noteworthy argument is personal skills are paid attention more on CV than others who have merely scientific skills. In other words, more you are lucky,

It has profoundly been debated that according to numerous individuals schools ought to instruct children vocational skills, while many are of the notion that teaching essential subjects is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will deliberate on them now. On the one hand, I understand why certain people are in favour of the opinion that the students should be instructed vocational skills at school. To begin with, those who have been taught personal knacks are highly likely to obtain employment easily. To be more specific, capabilities that students gain are proven to be necessary in regard to development of societies; ultimately job opportunities are observed to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational skills. Another noteworthy argument is personal skills are paid attention more on CV than others who have merely scientific skills. In other words, more you are lucky, Q3OP
It has profoundly been debated that according to numerous individuals schools ought to instruct children vocational skills, while many are of the notion that teaching essential subjects is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will deliberate on them now. On the one hand, I understand why certain people are in favour of the opinion that the students should be instructed vocational skills at school. To begin with, those who have been taught personal knacks are highly likely to obtain employment easily. To be more specific, capabilities that students gain are proven to be necessary in regard to development of societies; ultimately job opportunities are observed to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational skills. Another noteworthy argument is personal skills are paid attention more on CV than others who have merely scientific skills. In other words, more you are lucky, the more you have talents. On the other hand, I would side those who endorse the notion that teaching crucial subjects is more advisable. The primary reason why I advocate that idea is because finding out ultimate subjects is likely to influence enormously students’ future education. To put it in another way, to reach high level of education claims rich knowledge from essential school subjects related to majority. For instance, in order to be a good automation engineer, it is necessary to have specific qualifications from the subjects Physics and Mathematics. By way of conclusion, taking the aforementioned justifications into consideration, even though there are numerous reasons for the former statement, I am of the notion that educating important subjects at schools has much more great impact on students’ future career.
It has
profoundly
been debated
that according to numerous individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to instruct children vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are of the notion that teaching essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this
intensely
debated issue and I will deliberate on them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, I understand why certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be instructed
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, those who have
been taught
personal knacks are
highly
likely to obtain employment
easily
. To be more specific, capabilities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain
are proven
to be necessary in regard to development of societies;
ultimately
job opportunities
are observed
to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Another noteworthy argument is personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are paid
attention more on CV than others who have
merely
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In other words
, more you are lucky, the more you have talents.

On the other hand
, I would side those who endorse the notion that teaching crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is more advisable. The primary reason why I advocate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
finding out ultimate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is likely to influence
enormously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
future education. To put it in another way, to reach high level of education claims rich knowledge from essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to majority.
For instance
, in order to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
automation engineer, it is necessary to have specific qualifications from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
Physics and Mathematics.

By way of conclusion, taking the aforementioned justifications into consideration,
even though
there are numerous reasons for the former statement, I am of the notion that educating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has much more great impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
future career.
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IELTS essay It has profoundly been debated that according to numerous individuals schools ought to instruct children vocational skills, while many are of the notion that teaching essential subjects is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will deliberate on them now. On the one hand, I understand why certain people are in favour of the opinion that the students should be instructed vocational skills at school. To begin with, those who have been taught personal knacks are highly likely to obtain employment easily. To be more specific, capabilities that students gain are proven to be necessary in regard to development of societies; ultimately job opportunities are observed to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational skills. Another noteworthy argument is personal skills are paid attention more on CV than others who have merely scientific skills. In other words, more you are lucky,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • It has profoundly been debated that according to numerous individuals schools ought to instruct children vocational skills, while many are of the notion that teaching essential subjects is more advantageous regarding children’s future career. There are valid opinions on the both sides of this intensely debated issue and I will deliberate on them now. On the one hand, I understand why certain people are in favour of the opinion that the students should be instructed vocational skills at school. To begin with, those who have been taught personal knacks are highly likely to obtain employment easily. To be more specific, capabilities that students gain are proven to be necessary in regard to development of societies; ultimately job opportunities are observed to be more in number for individuals’ having obtained occupational skills. Another noteworthy argument is personal skills are paid attention more on CV than others who have merely scientific skills. In other words, more you are lucky,