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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 7
Undoubtedly academic study plays a crucial role in students' life by building their personality and broadening their skills. Furthermore, having a suitable amount of knowledge helps graduates to get better professions. However, I believe that there are other variety of benefits of college learning for both students and community. On the one hand, there are several reasons why college has such a detrimental role in obtaining good jobs. First of all, college provides students with a sufficient amount of information for a specific branch of disciplines. In addition to that, it gives them training to be also aware of the practical side of their Specialty. Having both theoretical and practical experience, enabling fresh graduates to be more demanding in the job market. To illustrate, many of programming companies prefer applicants who have a previous practical experience in programming languages. Secondly, each year many colleges organize job fair, with the aim of making the undergraduate students more familiar with the demands of the job market. For instance, the annual job fair at the faculty of engineering at Alexandria university helps undergraduate students to obtain internship positions at popular companies, such as Samsung and Google. On the other hand, there are many other benefits of the university learning in the community. The first advantage is that with the increasing in the amount of educated residents, the quality of life is improving. For example, amount of crimes decrease by the increase of employment rate. The second merit of academic learning is to solve the trouble of the rising rates of the unemployment. For example, preparing the most convenient type of employees for the work market, would enable society to regain its balance by defeating the unemployment issue. In conclusion, there are supporters and opponents in this case, my personal opinion is that institutional education not only provides jobs for our youth, but also plays a crucial role in our country.
Undoubtedly
academic study plays a crucial role in students' life by building their personality and broadening their
skills
.
Furthermore
, having a suitable
amount
of knowledge
helps
graduates to
get
better professions.
However
, I believe that there are other variety of benefits of college learning for both
students
and community.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why college has such a detrimental role in obtaining
good
jobs
.
First of all
, college provides
students
with a sufficient
amount
of information for a specific branch of disciplines.
In addition
to that, it gives them training to be
also
aware of the practical side of their Specialty. Having both theoretical and practical experience, enabling fresh graduates to be more demanding in the
job
market. To illustrate,
many
of programming
companies
prefer applicants who have a previous practical experience in programming languages.
Secondly
, each year
many
colleges organize
job
fair
, with the aim of making the undergraduate
students
more familiar with the demands of the
job
market.
For instance
, the annual
job
fair
at the faculty of engineering at Alexandria university
helps
undergraduate
students
to obtain internship positions at popular
companies
, such as Samsung and Google.

On the other hand
, there are
many
other benefits of the university learning in the community. The
first
advantage is that with the increasing in the
amount
of educated residents, the quality of life is improving.
For example
,
amount
of crimes decrease by the increase of employment rate. The second merit of academic learning is to solve the trouble of the rising rates of the unemployment.
For example
, preparing the most convenient type of employees for the work market, would enable society to regain its balance by defeating the unemployment issue.

In conclusion
, there are supporters and opponents
in this case
, my personal opinion is that institutional education not
only
provides
jobs
for our youth,
but
also
plays a crucial role in our country.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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