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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. 56b7e
According to the prompt, some people believe that university education helps the students to get better jobs. while others believe that university education is good for themeselves and for the society. In my opinion, university education that provides lot of perks to themselves as well as for the society for the two reasons, but i do concede that university education helps the students to getter better jobs. First of all, university education provides lot of perks for the themselves as well as for the society because it allows them to gain the knowledge in the areas that they are intrested in. For example someone who is intrested in building machines. so, possesing the university education in the mechanical or automoblie industry helps them to acheive their goals and also allows them to develop innovative technologies that makes the lives easier which is a benefit for the society. In addition, university accepts the people from the different parts of the world which allows the people to communicate and exchange ideas and also allows the students to expand their networks. This shows a positive trend because people and society benefit from the university education. Secondly, university education plays an important role in persons life and society. For example many universities included ethics as a subject. As a result, students would understand their moral responsibilites and change themselves in a better way which is a benefit for themselves as well as for the society. However, university education helps the people to acheive better jobs because universities hope that the circculum and tutorials would be useful for the graduate students in their workplace. For example to become the automobile engineer candidate should have the minimum bachelors degree in the automobile or mechanical engineering. Since it is a mandatory requirement many people consider university education necessary to get good job. In conclusion, some people belive that university education helps to get the elite jobs. while others believe that university education provides a lot of perks to themselves and as well as for the society. In my opinion studying in university should not be only for getting jobs but also for networking.
According to the prompt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while


others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
themeselves
and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education

that provides lot of perks to themselves as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
for the two reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
do concede that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
university


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to getter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
jobs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
perks for
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "themselves"?
the themselves
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to gain

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
knowledge in the areas that they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in.
For example
someone who is
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in building machines.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
possesing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the

mechanical or
Possible spelling mistake found.
automoblie
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
their goals and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to develop innovative technologies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier which is a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
benefit
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
accepts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate and exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows


the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to expand their networks. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
benefit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in persons life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
included ethics as a subject.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
would


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
understand
their moral
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilites
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
themselves in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
way which is a benefit for themselves as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the society.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
hope that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
circculum
and tutorials would be useful for the graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
workplace
.
For example
to become the automobile engineer candidate should have the minimum bachelors degree in the automobile or mechanical engineering. Since it is
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
a


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
mandatory
requirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the elite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
perks


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
themselves and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for networking.

IELTS essay Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
356 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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