Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.13

some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 13
A few people opine that the focus on gaining tertiary certificate is to obtain a more desirable work, on the contrary, some think that it has a vast positive impact on people and on the public. In my strong conviction, I agree that it is more beneficial to an individual and the state to get a degree because it helps build confidence and also meet with world competitions. Admittedly, many consider that attending tertiary institutions is to aid graduates an opportunity in the work force for several reasons. Firstly, many jobs such as medicine, pharmacy and nursing requires a certificate from these institutions recognized all over the word to practice effectively and these jobs are considered the highly paid too. Hence the rise in families with them who apparently will help to alleviate poverty in homes and in the society respectively. In addition, competition owing to the fact that more people are upgrading both in knowledge and skills makes it a standard in reaching a milestone. To illustrate this will be based on a study conducted by different companies in rivers state which showed that those on a high salary scale even without experience were graduates. On the other hand, some think that it has a better influence on an individual and the society and I agree with this because, when they attend these schools, they are exposed to an independent lifestyle which allows them to cooperate and communicate with each other properly due to the fact that they live alone leaving members of their families and having to make decisions on their lives. More so, It avails them the opportunity to be exposed to various cultures that may eventually be helpful to them. For example, a person who travels to another state with either a different cultural and religious belief gains the understanding which may be useful in life's pursuit. Additionally, most people in a bid to interact properly learn different languages that may pay off eventually. Consequently, these may trigger an entrepreneur mindset which may be more rewarding thus improving the states financial status. To conclude, despite varying beliefs on the importance of university education, I am of the notion that even though an improved salary is obtainable after graduation, one's credence is boosted and life challenges can be tackled easily thus improving the economy of a state.
A few
people
opine that the focus on gaining tertiary certificate is to obtain a more desirable work,
on the contrary
,
some
think
that it has a vast
positive
impact on
people
and on the public. In my strong conviction, I
agree
that it is more beneficial to an individual and the
state
to
get
a degree
because
it
helps
build confidence and
also
meet
with world competitions.

Admittedly
,
many
consider that attending tertiary institutions is to aid graduates an opportunity in the work force for several reasons.
Firstly
,
many
jobs such as medicine, pharmacy and nursing requires a certificate from these institutions recognized
all over the word
to practice
effectively
and these jobs
are considered
the
highly
paid too.
Hence
the rise in families with them who
apparently
will
help
to alleviate poverty in homes and in the society
respectively
.
In addition
, competition owing to the fact that more
people
are upgrading both in knowledge and
skills
makes
it a standard in reaching a milestone. To illustrate this will
be based
on a study conducted by
different
companies
in rivers
state
which
showed
that those on a high salary scale even without experience were graduates.

On the other hand
,
some
think
that it has a better influence on an individual and the society and I
agree
with this
because
, when they attend these schools, they
are exposed
to an independent lifestyle which
allows
them to cooperate and communicate with each other
properly
due to the fact that they
live
alone leaving members of their families and having to
make
decisions on their
lives
. More
so
, It avails them the opportunity to
be exposed
to various cultures that may
eventually
be helpful to them.
For example
, a person who travels to another
state
with either a
different
cultural and religious belief gains the understanding which may be useful in life's pursuit.
Additionally
, most
people
in a bid to interact
properly
learn
different
languages that may pay off
eventually
.
Consequently
, these may trigger an entrepreneur mindset which may be more rewarding
thus
improving the
states
financial status.

To conclude
, despite varying beliefs on the importance of university education, I am of the notion that
even though
an
improved
salary is obtainable after graduation, one's credence
is boosted
and life challenges can
be tackled
easily
thus
improving the economy of a
state
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts