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Some people believe that young people should hire. Other believe that older experience staff should hire. Both views and opinions.

Some people believe that young people should hire. Other believe that older experience staff should hire. Both views and opinions. jD7PL
It is argued by majority of masses whether the enterprise ought to be recruited the younger staff or older staff which is more experienced. I personally believe that both freshers and knowledgeable person are substantial for the organization because new graduates are more energetic while elder folk has more skills. On the one hand, hiring freshers in companies has some benefits. The first and foremost reason is that the young people are more motivated and passionate towards their job. They struggle hard for betterment of the enterprises not only for getting the permanent place but also to rise the profit of the organization. In the USA, for example, around 60% freshers are hired by companies. Moreover, in this high tech era, young one are more flexible and they easily start new technology equipment. Unlike this, older staff not have enough knowledge about the new devices and they faced lot of obstacles. As a result, company may suffer. Therefore, new graduates are more energetic and flexible compared with older ones. On the other hand, there are plethora of reason why elder experienced people should hire. First and foremost, knowledgeable person has either communication skills or decision-making ability. Older staff aid with their experience not only developing organization but also helps to interact with international customers. Consequently, company would expand around the world. Another striking point is that skillful staff can get more support from their colleagues. By contrast, new graduates may not get support from their staff because they neither understand the other person nor spent years with staff. Hence, they may face difficulty. In conclusion, I assert that both are equally significant for the enterprise because new staff are flexible as well as talented whereas the skillful person has good decision making ability in problematic situation.
It
is argued
by majority of masses whether the enterprise ought to
be recruited
the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
which is more experienced. I
personally
believe that both freshers and knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
are substantial for the organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates are more energetic while elder folk has more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the one hand, hiring freshers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. The
first
and foremost reason is that the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more motivated and passionate towards their job. They struggle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for betterment of the enterprises not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for getting the permanent place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to rise the profit of the organization. In the USA,
for example
, around 60% freshers
are hired
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Moreover
, in this high tech era, young one are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
flexible and
they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology equipment. Unlike this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
devices and
they faced
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
obstacles.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may suffer.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates are more energetic and flexible compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones.

On the other hand
, there are plethora of reason why elder experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should hire.
First
and foremost, knowledgeable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has either communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or decision-making ability.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
aid with their experience not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developing organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to interact with international customers.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
would expand around the world. Another striking point is that skillful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more support from their colleagues. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
graduates may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they neither understand the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
nor spent years with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
.
Hence
, they may face difficulty.

In conclusion
, I assert that both are
equally
significant for the enterprise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
are flexible
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
talented whereas the skillful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
ability in problematic situation.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that young people should hire. Other believe that older experience staff should hire. Both views and opinions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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