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Facebook and Twitter should be banned.

Facebook and Twitter should be banned. X7YnN
Social networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter are thought to have a detrimental influence on individuals as well as society. Some people believe that they should be prohibited. While I think that such sites are essential to individuals, I agree that they have negative consequences on the whole community. On one hand, online social medial has many benefits. Firstly, it become easier for people from different countries to communicate with each other whereas, before the advancement of technology and the spread of social media, people from different countries have rare chances to meet each other and communicate. Secondly, Facebook and Twitter gave individuals the chance to participate in discussions with people who have the same interests. On the other hand, Facebook and Twitter have a destructive effect on societies and local communities. Firstly, individuals become so attached to their computers or mobile phones. Consequently, individuals within society are no longer communicating or participating in any social activities. Furthermore, the community is becoming fragmented and isolated as people spend most of their time in front of their devices. They never meet face to face. In addition, many studies have found a strong relationship between social networking websites and increased risk of illness such as depression, anxiety, and loneliness. The more you sit online, the more you get mood disorders. Social networking such as Twitter and Facebook might be hotspots for spreading hurtful rumors, lies, and abuse that might leave lasting emotional scars. To conclude, although social sites have brought people closer to each other, They have a negative consequence on both community and people’s health. I think local communities should exert efforts to indulge people in local activities to stay away from these websites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking websites such as Facebook and Twitter are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to have a detrimental influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
as well
as society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they should
be prohibited
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such sites are essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
on the whole
community.

On one hand, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
medial has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
Firstly
, it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advancement of technology and the spread of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries have rare chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and communicate.
Secondly
, Facebook and Twitter gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
the chance to participate in discussions with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have the same interests.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Facebook and Twitter have a destructive effect on societies and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attached to their computers or mobile phones.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
within society are no longer communicating or participating in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is becoming fragmented and isolated as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend most of their time in front of their devices. They never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
face to face.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies have found a strong relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites and increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of illness such as depression, anxiety, and loneliness. The more you sit online, the more you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mood disorders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking such as Twitter and Facebook might be hotspots for spreading hurtful rumors, lies, and abuse that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
lasting emotional scars.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites have brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, They have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should exert efforts to indulge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in local activities to stay away from these websites.
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IELTS essay Facebook and Twitter should be banned.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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